Advice and discussions on raising a teenager, ages 13 to 18.

Brandi posted in Behavior Jan 14

I don’t know who this human is

I have a 12 year old daughter who is like a total stranger to me. This year has been a challenge to say the least. She has ADHD and needs additional motivation to do anything on good days. Right now, lying about everything. Goes to school and doesn’t do her work. She had a take home test I asked her about 3 times. I was told it was done days ago. Then Saturday and Sunday. She didn’t do it, took... More

How can I get my teenagers to help clean up?

  • Lexi
    Oct 12, 2019

    I was a teenager not long ago and growing up I would get my phone taken for not cleaning up.

What is there to do for teens (boy) during summer when mom (me) does not drive at the moment due

And wants our summer enjoyable?

  • Jen
    Jun 16, 2019

    Look up nature trails near by. I’m not familiar with Avon Park area so I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful. If you’re on FB you can also look into events in your area. Look into the city bus schedule.

  • Mysticnocturne
    Jul 04, 2019

    I hear the city bus is pretty reliable and cheap. If you get him a monthly bus pass he can go all over the city all month. You can use FB to look up local events. Also most school districts are giving out free lunch every day Mon- Fri from 11-1 pm. You can look that up with his school on FB too. There are parks, nature trails, and he might have fun joining a local charity crew doing clean up at... More

Anonymous posted in Child's Health May 24, 2019

15 year old niece needs period help

My 15 year old niece lives with my brother (her Dad). It’s just the two of them since he’s a single Dad. She’s going to a pool party this weekend and has her period. I’ve tried giving her all the tampon advice that I possibly can (how to insert it, to relax, it won’t get “lost,” that she shouldn’t feel anything, etc). She says she can feel it in there and immediately takes it out. She is so anx... More

  • Anonymous
    May 25, 2019

    It may be too late for this advice, but for in the future... I never feel my tampon when it's in right. 99% of the time if I feel it or it is uncomfortable the reason is that it is not in far enough. U by Kotex has always worked best for me.

What do I do when my teenager is caught cheating in school?

  • Anonymous
    May 22, 2019

    I would have a discussion about the consequences of cheating as the child gets older. See if the work is hard, need help, tutoring etc. as the cause and then have the child do something to make up for it

I’m trying to go to a day spa with my daughter.

My daughter and I have planned to go to a day spa for a very long time, but I don’t know exactly where to go. I’m trying to find a nice clean establishment with high ratings. Can anyone recommend me something?

  • Angie
    Mar 21, 2019

    I love love love love Sole Spa in Buckhead across from fish market!

  • Laura
    Mar 28, 2019

    Burke Williams

How to get teens to do their chores and pull some weight around the house?

Help me. My teenagers are the messiest individuals I know. When instructed to pick up behind themselves,they get distracted . Next thing I know, an hour has passed and they haven’t done a thing. Please help

  • Lucy Kent
    Mar 28, 2019

    Get them each a basket. Anything they leave out will go into the basket. If the basket is not empty, no privileges. If the basket is full of gross things like dirty dishes, too bad. They made the mess they can deal with it. The simplest way for the basket to stay empty is for them to replace items right when they are done using them. You can start that way and then once they get the hang of it,... More

  • Anonymous
    May 25, 2019

    Growing up, my family had weekly chores. We had to dust, vacuum, mop, scrub the bathrooms, and clean the kitchen. This happened every Saturday morning. You want to go somewhere? Then you better get the chores done because we weren't allowed to touch our phones, computers, or go anywhere without cleaning the house first. Saturday's are a great day for chores because it's a big day fo... More

Anonymous posted in Pre-Teens Feb 08, 2019

Tween honesty issues

My 12 year old has a weekday curfew for phone use1.5 hours and a weekend curfew 2-3 hours per day ; she’s mostly introverted so the phone is her talking to her friends, her music, and etc.honestly she is sometimes glued to it, apparently her other friends don’t seem to have any kind of parental enforcement on their phone use and are texting 10,11,12 pm etc. And now my daughter sometimes sneaks ... More

  • Elizabeth
    Feb 10, 2019

    My teenage son did that too. Unfortunately, when he showed no remorse for lying my husband and I came to the agreement that we had to take it and lock it up in our room on the charger each night. We bought him an alarm clock. He gets the phone for school and after school activities but when he comes home he can only have his phone after chores and homework are finished. He can also only have it... More

  • Anne
    Feb 18, 2019

    I went through a similar problem with my daughter. I say you give her a talk. Gently talk to her and ask her why she’s lying. Refrain from getting angry and keep the tone of the conversation calm. Often children refuse to tell the truth because of trust issues with their parents. Are you too strict on her, or do you put stress on her? In terms of screen time, I verbally remind my daughter to sp... More

“The talk”

So, my oldest is turning 15 this year, she is having a quinceañera party which, in Latino culture, signifies her transitioning into a woman. Now, she is not a woman and will never be a woman in my eyes, still my baby girl. But I do understand she is getting older and the fact that she doesn’t live with me, due to a divorce from my first wife, makes things a bit more challenging. I want to have ... More

  • Michelle
    Jan 27, 2019

    You may want to have the talk with her, but make sure she wants to have the talk with you first. The best thing you can do for your relationship and her self-esteem is respect her boundaries. I’m sure she’s watching tv shows with mature themes. Find out what she’s watching, then watch them on your own, and start a conversation with her about the characters. You can pass along your wisdom to ... More

  • Elle
    Jan 28, 2019

    Want to upvote Michelle's comment about 100 times. Best comment thus far.

Anonymous posted in Books & Reading Nov 06, 2018

13 yr old hates reading

I didn’t read much with her when she was young big mistake on my part. She is 13 now and hates reading . I’ve tried everything . She has a horrible habit of even skipping the directions and assuming she knows what to do instead . I even get her books she would actually enjoy from the library and I try to look at them with her . Nope didn’t work. Ugh I give up! She is around family that read and... More

  • David
    Dec 04, 2018

    Any possibility of struggles with dyslexia or other struggles? Maybe the dislike of reading stems from it being a difficult thing and finding a solution for that may open up the activity as being more fun?

  • Mysticnocturne
    Jul 04, 2019

    I have 3 teens, and the days I work dayshift instead of nightshift, I read them a chapter at bedtime of a chapter book. We all love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I know my kids have seen all the movies and enjoyed them. So right now we are reading ‘The Hobbit’ as the pre-book to The Lord of the Rings. My kids sigh and make exasperated sounds when I tell them to put down their phones, but ... More

How do I get my grandkids to share in chores and not fight so much?

I tried a chart but that didn’t work.

  • Linda
    Oct 19, 2018

    Sorry good my daughter will have to try that before they were giving a allowance every week but kids would not do chores they just wanted the money they got told no you earn it or nothing

  • Emily
    Oct 19, 2018

    I believe that’s what happened to my mom and why she became so strict on it! She would hold plates up to the light and make sure the were sparkling. I won’t be as hard on my daughter but I do think it taught me about money and how to save and earn it. If I wanted a toy or extra something I bought it myself and I earned it. It definitely felt better when I got it to.

Anonymous posted in Teenagers Sep 25, 2018

Teen self confidence

My nephew is having severe self esteem problems. His “friends” abandon him moment they get to school after carpool and tease him. He is a wonderful young man. He has kind of distanced himself from the family. Being a victim of bullying I know how it is. Do any parents have suggestions on how to “handle” ( using that word loosely) a child with trust and esteem issues. My sister and brother i... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 30, 2018

    Thank you for all the advice and suggestions you all are wonderful

  • Maya
    Mar 20, 2019

    Yoga, surfing, good food! Teaching him to go inward. Finding his breath and first his connection to himself. Then when he steps out to go to school, he isn't concerned about how his 'friends' will treat him. He will become open and receptive to a new vibration and attract the kind of people who are good natured and great to him. Through this He will learn how to make himself feel go... More

My teenage son and daughter share a bathroom and fight constantly about it.

He’s messier and leaves his things out and in her sink. She might take too long at night getting ready for bed. Any ideas to help?

  • Karli
    Sep 22, 2018

    Alternate who cleans what each week . Trash and toilet for one and counter and mirror for the other

  • Emily
    Sep 22, 2018

    If it's a double vanity I'd put tape down the middle. My parents did that for me and my sister. If someone's stuff ended up on the others side we cleaned both halves! We never strayed much into each other's space. We also used the layered plastic tubs for all our stuff on the bathroom counter and it was to be all put up when we left the bathroom or we had stuff taken away and mo... More

The monitoring app you added to your kids’ phone is a security nightmare.

Please don’t spy on your kids via their phones by adding (what is basically) malware and these janky apps that are poorly secured. 1) one app, TeenSafe, was found to be insecure and may have inadvertently shared your passwords: https://www.zdnet.com/article/teen-phone-monitoring-app-leaks-thousands-of-users-data/ 2) This is not a great way to build trust with your teens/kids. My work does th... More

  • Michelle
    Mar 30, 2019

    All of my kids have Life360 tracking on their phones. At first it was just my oldest daughter I was “tracking.” There was a sense of (mis)trust issues because she could not track me. Later I decided to let her track me. Once I did that, the trust was flowing. Now the app is on all three of my daughters’ phones. They all know my whereabouts! I use the free version of the app. You can pay for an ... More

Makeup or Not?

My daughter is starting the 6th grade next week, she asked me today if she can get some makeup? My first thought was yes, finally something we might bond over that I know since I don’t know sports but then. Is she to young what to start off with, does make up make her more noticeable and attractive to boys (don’t want that) or should I be more worried about her skin since I use make up but not... More

  • Nancy
    Sep 22, 2018

    My daughter and I bought her makeup when she was starting sixth grade. I think she thought a lot of girls would be wearing it. We bought very natural colors. She used very little and before long didn’t even bother because not many others were but she had fun learning.

My Step-daughter makes me anxious

I've been married to my husband for 9 years. He has had full and sole custody of his daughter since 2005 when she was about 2.5. Her mom lived 3 states away. I met him in 2007 and we were married in 2009. As loving as she could be, she was also very defiant and had a lot of problems with anger, lying, etc. Actually all this talk of family separation makes me wonder if this transition from... More

  • Marsha
    Aug 03, 2018

    My 16 year old has so much attitude and anger from issues with her father. We’ve been divorced since she was about 5. I believe so much of her behavior focuses on her self esteem (lack of it) and she’s super sensitive. My suggestion, since you can really only control yourself, is to see where she is vulnerable and try to connect with her in that area. Maybe she loves to draw - so try to go to a... More

  • wonder mommy
    Aug 03, 2018

    This sounds like me. Me being your stepdaughter. I hated my father because I felt abandoned by him and his love when to my stepmother who I felt didn’t love me either. Your stepdaughter is a child. Keep trying to understand where the anger she has is coming from. The fact your asking for advice means you do care. Don’t stop caring, keep trying. Try to get her father involved. Don’t outcast her... More

Is there a long term reward for being the hated, mean, involved, responsible parent?

I can’t seem to get on the same page as my “co-parent”. I am against my 12 year old daughter (my son 15 the gamer could care less about them) having social media accounts such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat while her mother could care less. I know some have age restrictions but they are non responsive when I contact them via email saying it’s my daughter who’s underage and I want to know ... More

  • Melissa
    Jul 03, 2018

    I feel you, Christopher! We have gone the rounds with my 13 year-old daughter and social media for more than a year. In our case, no matter what parental restrictions we set or how many talks we have about real-life consequences, she continuously finds a way to get around the system, open new accounts, and behave inappropriately online. I don’t think there’s an easy answer for you—there are s... More

  • Wendie
    Jul 04, 2018

    It sounds like you and your ex need to get together and talk about your parenting strategies. I know that's not always possible but if you can both come up with a plan and compromise on some of this it would make things much easier. I don't let my kids have sugary drinks early in the day or late at night and we have a no social media rule in our home. Also, electronic are plugged into ... More

Kids fight with me about cleaning

How do I get them to help and clean better?

  • Kristin
    Jun 05, 2018

    My two oldest are a teen or almost teen.... I make then earn video game or computer time by cleaning. My middle is an aspy child so I have to give him one task at a time... or he'll get distracted.... the youngest is 2.... I usually help him. But he is getting it

My daughter stays in her room and plays on Youtube all the time

What can I do to get her off of it?

  • Savanna
    Jun 05, 2018

    Have a game night, or at least two hours a day strictly for family, where their attention is family based. I don’t recommend just taking her phone away or doing anything drastic, as this could just cause more conflict where there doesn’t need to be any. As a personal tip, try Geocaching as a family! Geocaching is a giant treasure hunt that is available to everyone and you’d be surprised at how ... More

  • Kimberley
    Oct 18, 2018

    I agree, we have been geocaching for years. Love the gadget caches! No, even a waterpark pass didn't help with her this past summer .

Load More