Advice and discussions on raising a teenager, ages 13 to 18.
My 12 year old has a weekday curfew for phone use1.5 hours and a weekend curfew 2-3 hours per day ; she’s mostly introverted so the phone is her talking to her friends, her music, and etc.honestly she is sometimes glued to it, apparently her other friends don’t seem to have any kind of parental enforcement on their phone use and are texting 10,11,12 pm etc. And now my daughter sometimes sneaks ... More
So, my oldest is turning 15 this year, she is having a quinceañera party which, in Latino culture, signifies her transitioning into a woman. Now, she is not a woman and will never be a woman in my eyes, still my baby girl. But I do understand she is getting older and the fact that she doesn’t live with me, due to a divorce from my first wife, makes things a bit more challenging. I want to have ... More
You may want to have the talk with her, but make sure she wants to have the talk with you first. The best thing you can do for your relationship and her self-esteem is respect her boundaries. I’m sure she’s watching tv shows with mature themes. Find out what she’s watching, then watch them on your own, and start a conversation with her about the characters. You can pass along your wisdom to ... More
I didn’t read much with her when she was young big mistake on my part. She is 13 now and hates reading . I’ve tried everything . She has a horrible habit of even skipping the directions and assuming she knows what to do instead . I even get her books she would actually enjoy from the library and I try to look at them with her . Nope didn’t work. Ugh I give up! She is around family that read and... More
I tried a chart but that didn’t work.
I believe that’s what happened to my mom and why she became so strict on it! She would hold plates up to the light and make sure the were sparkling. I won’t be as hard on my daughter but I do think it taught me about money and how to save and earn it. If I wanted a toy or extra something I bought it myself and I earned it. It definitely felt better when I got it to.
My nephew is having severe self esteem problems. His “friends” abandon him moment they get to school after carpool and tease him. He is a wonderful young man. He has kind of distanced himself from the family. Being a victim of bullying I know how it is. Do any parents have suggestions on how to “handle” ( using that word loosely) a child with trust and esteem issues. My sister and brother i... More
Try geocaching. Builds confidence in solving “puzzles” to find things. After a while he’ll want to hide his own. Teach him about resisting being available every time a friend wants to hang out. “Thanks, but I have plans.”
Thank you for all the advice and suggestions you all are wonderful
He’s messier and leaves his things out and in her sink. She might take too long at night getting ready for bed. Any ideas to help?
If it's a double vanity I'd put tape down the middle. My parents did that for me and my sister. If someone's stuff ended up on the others side we cleaned both halves! We never strayed much into each other's space. We also used the layered plastic tubs for all our stuff on the bathroom counter and it was to be all put up when we left the bathroom or we had stuff taken away and mo... More
Please don’t spy on your kids via their phones by adding (what is basically) malware and these janky apps that are poorly secured. 1) one app, TeenSafe, was found to be insecure and may have inadvertently shared your passwords: https://www.zdnet.com/article/teen-phone-monitoring-app-leaks-thousands-of-users-data/ 2) This is not a great way to build trust with your teens/kids. My work does th... More
My daughter is starting the 6th grade next week, she asked me today if she can get some makeup? My first thought was yes, finally something we might bond over that I know since I don’t know sports but then. Is she to young what to start off with, does make up make her more noticeable and attractive to boys (don’t want that) or should I be more worried about her skin since I use make up but not... More
I've been married to my husband for 9 years. He has had full and sole custody of his daughter since 2005 when she was about 2.5. Her mom lived 3 states away. I met him in 2007 and we were married in 2009. As loving as she could be, she was also very defiant and had a lot of problems with anger, lying, etc. Actually all this talk of family separation makes me wonder if this transition from... More
My 16 year old has so much attitude and anger from issues with her father. We’ve been divorced since she was about 5. I believe so much of her behavior focuses on her self esteem (lack of it) and she’s super sensitive. My suggestion, since you can really only control yourself, is to see where she is vulnerable and try to connect with her in that area. Maybe she loves to draw - so try to go to a... More
This sounds like me. Me being your stepdaughter. I hated my father because I felt abandoned by him and his love when to my stepmother who I felt didn’t love me either. Your stepdaughter is a child. Keep trying to understand where the anger she has is coming from. The fact your asking for advice means you do care. Don’t stop caring, keep trying. Try to get her father involved. Don’t outcast her... More
I can’t seem to get on the same page as my “co-parent”. I am against my 12 year old daughter (my son 15 the gamer could care less about them) having social media accounts such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat while her mother could care less. I know some have age restrictions but they are non responsive when I contact them via email saying it’s my daughter who’s underage and I want to know ... More
I feel you, Christopher! We have gone the rounds with my 13 year-old daughter and social media for more than a year. In our case, no matter what parental restrictions we set or how many talks we have about real-life consequences, she continuously finds a way to get around the system, open new accounts, and behave inappropriately online. I don’t think there’s an easy answer for you—there are s... More
It sounds like you and your ex need to get together and talk about your parenting strategies. I know that's not always possible but if you can both come up with a plan and compromise on some of this it would make things much easier. I don't let my kids have sugary drinks early in the day or late at night and we have a no social media rule in our home. Also, electronic are plugged into ... More
Have a game night, or at least two hours a day strictly for family, where their attention is family based. I don’t recommend just taking her phone away or doing anything drastic, as this could just cause more conflict where there doesn’t need to be any. As a personal tip, try Geocaching as a family! Geocaching is a giant treasure hunt that is available to everyone and you’d be surprised at how ... More
So, what are your thoughts on having a young babysitter? I am looking for a babysitter, and a family friend recommend their neighbor. I contacted her and she asked me if we could set up an interview. During the interview I learned that she is American Red Cross certified in babysitting and pediatric CPR/first aid/AED. She seems very responsible and held herself well. She also seemed to take thi... More
The age of your children and the number of children may be a consideration- if you are leaving an infant or very active child. So while a recommendation is wonderful, the neighbor may have had a different set of circumstances from yours when this child babysat. I like many of the responses in a previous and similar post- especially giving a trial run when you are home and trusting your gut. Bei... More
He presents well in public but it often falls apart at home. It's hard to even carry on a conversation with him because of paranoia, perceived criticism, arguments and inflexibile thinking. Any parents out there in the same boat. Tips?
Hi. ! I have a 13 year old stepdaughter . I’m very blessed to have a great relationship with her. :) my question is though how Can I get her to not be on her phone 24/7? I would love advice from other parents how they’ve dealt with this and how it’s worked out for them . Myself and her father have agreed to take her phone away every day at 5pm so it’ll one —- make her finish any chores she has... More
While I agree phones from minors needs to be taken away overnight it does seem to be a little early in the afternoon. Especially if she’s been at school all day where she isn’t supposed to be on her phone either. I’d say take the phone (if you must) when she walks in the door until hw and chores are completed. And if you want her to spend quality time with you guys have game nights (board, card... More
He also will get physical with his mother when she tries to make him go to school or do anything. She is a single mom and really struggling.
The rule in our house is that you have to go to school and if you really are sick the nurse will call and send you home. She hates that rule because she’ll do anything to make herself have a fever. But we are trying to show her that school is her job and you can’t call in sick whenever you want.
“With younger children, we have plenty of opportunities to put our parenting muscles to work. We can read stories together, make up knock-knock jokes, build towers, or go to the museum. Our youngsters still like to join us for a trip to a grocery store and they usually come to us first with their questions or problems. But with teenagers, it’s not always easy to know how to connect. By their n... More
I need advice on a subject that can be controversial. My 14yr old girl developed early, by 11 she already had her period. Right now our concerns are chest related. She is currently a 38dd and complains of back ache. No wonder. However she does have genuine pain for a legitimate reason. She has shown interest in a breast reduction to relieve her pain. I’m conflicted seeing she is still in the gr... More
I started at nine and and had about the same cup size. At 14 many doctors wouldn't do it, but it would be worth bringing up at a doctors appointment. In the mean time, take her a place that actually sizes for bras and splurge on something that is actually going to give the support she needs. That will help tremendously. Victoria secret does, but they aren't always the best, I suggest la... More
So anyone noticed a complete change in family dynamics when one child goes to a friends house for a day? (Teenage child)
George: don’t feel guilty. Having anybody in your life with special needs is difficult. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a quiet moment or thinking about the things you could do when you are not required to be helping them. Parenting is both a wonderful and incredibly difficult job. And like any other job, we all deserve a little vacation (or just a sick day) from time to time.
My teenage son did that too. Unfortunately, when he showed no remorse for lying my husband and I came to the agreement that we had to take it and lock it up in our room on the charger each night. We bought him an alarm clock. He gets the phone for school and after school activities but when he comes home he can only have his phone after chores and homework are finished. He can also only have it... More