Working Parents

Working parents have two jobs — one at home with their children and one at their place of business. Learning to balance it all is a tough but rewarding process.

This is a place to for working moms and dads to share experiences and get advice, whether it's tips on work-life balance or help finding child care.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Thursday

Is it better to use a day care center or in home daycare provider?

Any parents have done research on both and have experience with both and have recommendations? I am in the San Francisco Bay Area in California (South Bay) but welcome suggestions from parents in other areas too.

  • Tiana

    It really depends! So many factors to consider. Depends on the age of the child, the offering that the center has, the ratio, the additional extracurriculars, languages spoken. Etc Many home daycares are homely but with no field trips or additional activities. But many speak other languages besides English. Larger centers may have webcams and a more “professional” feel, but more turnover an... More

Tipping the Sitter

Hi All! I am scheduled to babysit for a family tonight, and one of the parents just let me know that they will pay my base rate plus a tip at the end of the night. I've had other families give a tip, but most of the families for whom I babysit don't offer tips in addition to my hourly rate. I'm curious to know if tipping the babysitter is a relatively common practice? I'm also c... More

  • Anonymous

    I babysat from the time I was in my early teens. My first "clients" paid me a flat $5/hr for their grandson, guaranteeing me at least $20 per job. They picked me up and took me home; I was welcome to eat whatever I wanted. I got nice birthday and Christmas gifts from them, too. Since I worked in a summer program and lived in a neighborhood full of kids, I was booked up every weekend. ... More

CP posted in Child Care Jan 09

What is too much?

My in-home daycare is on the more expensive side ($375/week, 8-5, no meals). They charge for all holidays, and take 4 weeks of personal time (unpaid) that amounts to over 6 weeks off a year. They use to give us 2 weeks a year worth of "sick time" where you don't have to pay if you aren't there. (This at least offset some of the incredibly high price) They just announced that t... More

  • Christine

    I am a Large Family Child Care Provider in the SF Bay Area. You get what you pay for and the fit is the most important after love and safety. We are opened almost all year except for legal holidays and a few days at Christmas. Serve 2 meals and 3 snacks. I have 5 employees + myself & a Papa. I like an above average ratio so eyes are on the kids in our large indoor and outdoor spaces. Minimu... More

  • Our Loving Village H.
    check_circleChild Care Provider Friday

    As a quality child care provider, I want chime in with the fact that parents need be mindful of their work-family-life balance as well as ours. Regardless of price, I am privileged that I am available to care for children most of their waking hours, day in and day out. I get it, parents have to work! I am a first time mom of boy-girl twins. 14 months old now. I have ran my home daycare since... More

Breast engorgement at night

So my 10 week old recently started sleeping longer stretches at night and feeding less,I usually wake up with my breast so full,he will have the morning feed from one breast and I pump the other breast and what ever is left. I usually offer that to him in a bottle couple times during the day,would my supply get affected since I'm basicly skipping a feed?

  • Anonymous
    Dec 30

    I second Kieli - You can pump at the time of the night feeding your baby is now sleeping through, and that way you'll keep your supply up and have extra milk in the freezer (a perk!) and keep your breasts pain-and-engorgement-free!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 04

    If you want to save milk, pump. Otherwise, just let it ride. Your body at the stage knows that the baby’s needs are gonna change and it’ll be ready. I’m on baby 4. For me, my first baby I pumped and worried that if I didn’t he would need milk and I wouldn’t have it. With my last two, I tried to just trust the process and enjoy nights where the baby let me sleep and nurse when I had to. I alway... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 28

How much time does dad spend with his kids?

How much time does the father of your child(ren) spend with them? My partner and I are raising three kids together. The older two are his from a previous marriage, but we have them most of the time. The youngest is ours together. I’m a SAHM and my partner works from home a lot of the time. His work is often slow, so he is home doing nothing all day. He rarely helps me with anything and doesn’t ... More

Dan posted in Child Care Dec 23

Holiday gift for daycare?

Our infant has one main teacher and 4 other teachers that help out with him. There are also 2 support staff that see him and help out it seems often. How much should we gift in gift cards given it’s quite a lot of people.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 23

    I brought a dozen doughnuts and those gallon things of coffee from Dunkin and they were so grateful ☺️ it covered everyone and who doesn’t need coffee as a teacher lol

  • Jess
    Dec 23

    We got 2 dozen pastries for our daycare.... same situation. 2 main teachers but lots others that help or that have been her teacher this year. They liked it.

Anonymous posted in Toddlers Dec 15

What do you recommend for 2 yo when the commute is long

Hi, I have a long commute — it varies. Sometimes it takes 30 mins or 1 hour in a car. And the commute ends around 6:30 or 7 pm. I bring snacks such as cheese, cheerios, and banana for my daughter to eat while driving. She wants to watch YouTube as it takes long to stay in the car. What do you recommend to keep your toddler to be happy in long commute? I’ve tried singing a song together but it ... More

  • Terah
    Dec 21

    My 1 1/2 year old daughter is obsessed with Elmo's world. When I went to visit my family that lives 5 hours away we just made a makeshift holder for my phone and hung it over the headrest and she was quiet the whole way lol

  • Catherine
    Dec 27

    We did a 5 hr drive to visit out of state family this past summer. My daughter was 16 months at that point. We stopped every hour to move around and switch out toys. I think it helped having a different toy every hour to play with. Her favorite was a magnetic drawing board.

Daycare lunch ideas

Hey everyone! I’m looking for some new ideas on what to pack my 2 year old for lunch for daycare. He is somewhat of a picky eater so I feel like I’m always packing the same things every week and I’m sure he’s probably sick of the usual chicken nuggets, pasta, rice, pizza rolls, etc. Also, I can’t pack anything with peanuts/peanut butter or egg as some of his classmates are allergic. If anyon... More

  • Fidan
    Dec 12

    My little boy is a little picky, and he likes fruits and veggies better. So I put cucumbers, peppers, baby carrots, berries, grapes, and other fruits. Stick cheese, chocolate milk, graham cracker, little sandwiches with cream cheese or Nutella. Basically those are the main food for his lunch. He always has breakfast (egg, milk, bread and some veggies) so I am fine with the lunch.

  • Shannon
    Dec 13

    Thanks everyone! I do always include a side of fruit or veggies as a snack, I just struggle with the main dish lol But I’ll definitely be trying all of these helpful recommendations, thanks so much!

My son hates preschool! Help

He started preschool right after his third birthday(6wks ago). The first day he went right in and didn't even say bye to me. Then he started fighting me, not to go. I didn't think anything about it because he hates leaving the house to go anywhere and he always came home happy. He kept show a little more and more that he didn't want to go to school. This last week he started sobbing... More

  • Ariel
    Dec 12

    Vonda that is because you let him to have a good transition from home to school. That is very important for children

  • Mrs. welsh
    Dec 23

    Your child just turned three. Is there a reason you felt he should attend preschool now instead of waiting until Sept 2020? If you are a stay at home mom, and it is causing him distress you may want to reconsider waiting a few more months. The little guy might not be ready for it just yet. You will be surprised how much he will change in nine months. ❤️❤️

Kate posted in Child Care Dec 06

What is a good present for daycare teachers? I would like something practical that they can use. The teachers are all pretty young. (I’m thinking gift cards?) Any other ideas??

  • Christine
    Jan 02

    Up until 5 or so years ago as the owner of the Family Child Care I received Christmas bonuses from clients that were equal to 1 week of day care. I was the one who gave Christmas bonuses to the employees which I continue to do. Clients sometime brought in goodies for the staff to share. It was a different time, the economy was different. Now gift cards are well liked. Most of my staff received ... More

Anonymous posted in Child Care Dec 03

Daycare pickup while pregnant again?

I feel a little silly asking this, but how did you handle daycare pickup during your third trimester & after birth of your [second, third, etc] child? I’m 32 weeks along and have an 18 month old who goes to daycare. Due to our work schedules I do drop off and pickup, but it’s harder every day to literally PICK UP the toddler to put them in/out of the car seat, let alone maneuvering their ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 25

Would you stay in an unloving relationship just for your kids?

My fiancé and I met 4 years ago. We were trying to take things slow relationship wise since I already had a child, and we only saw each other once a week for the first 5 months. I wound up getting pregnant after only knowing each other 5 months, but we were both excited and decided to move in together once the baby was born. Fast forward to now, we have a 3 year old and we just don’t seem to ha... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 05

    I grew up in a home where no one ever fought and my parents had the ideal super loving relationship and guess what, me and my siblings all have had issues with relationships because in most relationships people fight and not everything is like a fairytale. I have issues anytime yelling or fighting occurs making me think I need to find someone else who is more like my dad. I don’t think there is... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 05

    I think settling in a relationship where there is no love, or not enough love, teaches your children to settle and that you're not worth more. I've watched my friends parents stay in crappy relationships and am super grateful that mine chose to divorce. I now have 4 parents. It hasn't harmed me anyway and was definitely better than sticking it out for the kids.p

Anonymous posted in Child Care Nov 22

Family caregivers that want to continue caregiving but we don’t want it.

Right now my toddler is at home with grandmas (yes we pay them). When she turns 18 months she will go to a montessori 3x a week. And each grandma will do the other 2x a week. This has been a long awaited change in our life because my husband and I dont particularly enjoy having our moms in our homes 5x a week and coming home after a long day at work to our moms... I know others may feel differ... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 09

    just think of all the benefits your child will have being in the montessori, socializing with other kids, and starting their education early. that should be enough to overcome the guilt! plus it's whats best for the child vs. whats best for grandma. Grams will understand. and im sure the relief of coming home to an empty house will help get over some of that guilt in no time (lol)

Daycare anxiety

Good hello everyone! My LO is currently 10 weeks old and will be starting daycare in 2 weeks. While I think my husband and I picked one of the best daycares in the area, I am having a lot of anxiety about him going. He just feels so little and knowing he won’t get 1:1 attention is hard for me to deal with. Any reassuring thoughts or suggestions for getting through this separation and making ... More

Trin posted in Child Care Nov 16

I don’t trust my boyfriend’s family to help with my son when he’s born.

I am currently 18 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend told me that his family will watch and care for our son while I work. I always wanted to have my own money and take care of myself, but I’m ready to throw all of that away to protect my son. I do not trust his family. In short, they’ve shown me time and time again that they are incapable of taking care of themselves, I’ve been around while they... More

  • May DeLosh
    check_circleChild Care Provider Nov 24

    I run a daycare/preschool for more than 12 years. Researches have found that most accidents happen at home. It is so true! From the 12 years of my professional career, 2 children broke their arm bones and one boy's face got burned by a light bulb when he climbed onto a table and somehow was able to grab the hot light bulb and placed it on his face. Those accidents all happened at the... More

  • CheerioMama
    Dec 01

    Keep that baby as far away from those people as possible. Get rid of your man if you have to.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Nov 15

Getting underpaid by your employer: How to go about a money conversation.

I’m a Nanny for a wonderful family. I usually never keep track of my hours because I have a lot on my plate and my Nanny family is usually keeping track. I recently started tracking my hours as to better budget myself before my paycheck arrives. Today I received my paycheck to find several hours worth of pay missing, I went back to my written hours and recounted them and the math was correct, s... More

  • Ashley
    Nov 17

    There’s An app for tracking your hours look it up and you should definitely bring it up... u should get paid for all the hours and if they’re not paying you for your time then they r taking advantage of you best luck to you!

  • carrie isaacson
    Nov 17

    Or lo-fi also works. Print out a few paper timesheets, start keeping a binder at their house. Fill it in *as you arrive* and *when you leave*, clock in / clock out style. Take a pic at least on Fridays for your records. The suggestion above to send texts also works. Do you have a contract with your employer? Strongly recommended so everyone is on the same page.

Ideas for Christmas present to babysitter/daycare worker ??

  • Kieli
    Nov 15

    I just started babysitting a family friends son a few weeks back. Something I would personally like, would be a nail salon gift card. Doesn’t have to be much, $10-$15 would mean so much to me

  • Kate
    Nov 26

    Amazon or Visa Gift Cards are always safe bets.

C posted in Behavior Nov 07

Sudden attachment/abandonment issues?

My son has been in daycare since he was 9 months old. He never needed to adjust to his daycare. In fact, he likes it at daycare so much that when I pick him up there, he’s so into whatever toy he’s playing with that he doesn’t notice me. The staff there love that he’s the mellowest, easiest baby to look after. Now he’s 14 months old, and for the past 2-3 weeks he cries when I drop him off at ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    Normal! Just keep your routine and everything the exact same, like all things baby, this will pass

  • Miss Maple
    Nov 13

    Your son may be giving you evidence of a cognitive leap - he loves you and does not like to see you go... and now he can remember that when you leave it is for a while, not just a moment. He will learn to manage those feelings AND the awareness that you will be gone for a while soon. As he grows he is likely to have other leaps of awareness that make separation difficult or (this can be worse f... More

Mom Friendly Career Change

Anyone have any suggestions? I’m looking to make a career change where I can earn a stable income from home. My previous jobs had me out of town too much and/or my income was canceled out by daycare costs.

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