Working Parents

Working parents have two jobs — one at home with their children and one at their place of business. Learning to balance it all is a tough but rewarding process.

This is a place to for working moms and dads to share experiences and get advice, whether it's tips on work-life balance or help finding child care.

J posted in Child Care Yesterday

We survived the first sickness!

Just wanted to share how much I had been dreading the first sickness since baby started daycare — and we just survived fever, congestion, and no sleep summer flu. We all got it and man, was that hard! But we are finally on the mend... phew!

Anonymous posted in Child Care Thursday

Does a 2 year old need preschool?

Does my 2 year old need preschool? We love our nanny and the hours work better with my work hours but I feel like not sending her could put her behind? I can’t afford to do both

  • Anonymous

    I never went to preschool and was above average all throughout school (and have my master's degree). My brother started preschool at age 3 and barely graduated high school. It really depends on the person.

  • Diana

    No. Kids don’t need preschool till about age of 3. It’s better for proper emotional development and mental health for child to have one caregiver till about that age, any qualified psychiatrist would say the same

Has any one had experience using the Evenflo Advanced pump and/or Medela starter pump?

  • Lisa

    The pump I got free through my insurance was the Medea pump in style for each of my kids. I exclusively pump and it is and has always worked fine. I like how compact it is and easy to transport

  • Anonymous

    I received the Medela pump from my insurance and liked it. My friend had the Medela pump for her first child and has the Evenflo for her second child. She says she likes the Evenflo better because it seems to "empty" her more than the Medela

Anonymous posted in Family Life Monday

A normal after work routine- with child

I work a 8-5 job. And am exhausted by the time I get home. Just wondering what others do with their kids after work. I usually let my child watch a little tv while I prepare dinner, straighten up a bit. Then it’s bath time, books and sleep. Just feeling like I should be doing more with her.

  • Shalay
    6h ago

    I have the same schedule and issue. I constantly feel maybe I should do more. Reading all if these suggestions help so much. I agree with everyone else you are doing great and kids know that your there for them and love thme

  • Dan
    3h ago

    There’s a lot of great stuff here about getting the kids to help, quality over quantity etc. I would add that it’s not your job to entertain your kids, but to raise them. That means modeling behavior. Every moment you in sight or sound of your kids you are parenting. When you run the evening routine, you are showing them your values, responsibility, and love. When they are whining it’s oven ... More

What’s the longest you’ve gone without breastfeeding or pumping at a time?

  • Anonymous

    I went 8 hours one day that I had oral surgery (aside from over night- I don’t pump or feed overnight so about 7:30-7)

  • Jenn

    Probably around 15 hours overnight towards the end. Was only pumping twice per day and still producing plenty at the time.

Chelsea posted in Pumping Aug 12

Road trip with two month old

I am planning a 12 hour road trip with my two month old. Any advice? I am breastfeeding so should I pump some so we don’t have to stop every two hours?

  • Mama

    Yeah, 12 hours might be more like 20:). Just don’t stress yourself with what the baby “should” be able to handle. Follow baby’s cues. My daughter would sometimes chill and sleep two hours straight full naps, but other times require frequent stops. Just don’t skip a nurse/feed hoping to get a little further. Keeping baby fed and calm and preventing meltdowns works better in the long run.

  • MJ

    I just did a 6 hour road trip with my 2 month old this past weekend. She did very well. I breast fed her and changed diaper right before we left. I pumped on the road for backup. She naturally woke up every 2-3 hours, so we made pit stops as well to eat or pump gas. During that time I also breast fed her, changed her diaper, and let her lay in the back seat a bit to stretch her legs out.

Anonymous posted in Clothes Aug 11

Best bra for hands free pumping

Hi all. What is your favorite bra for pumping hands free? Going back to work in a few weeks and would like to be able to pump hands free comfortably.

  • Andrea
    Aug 11

    I loved this! It goes on over your existing bra, so long as it has the nursing clips, and makes it so you don’t have to completely change your bra. I used this to pump for almost 9 months. Bravado! Designs Women's Maternity Clip and Pump Hands-Free Nursing Bra Accessory, Black, M

  • Brigitte
    Aug 11

    ☝️I second and third the bravado clip-in bra. Hands down the best I’ve used!!

Drop off/ pick up daycare

Hi! I know you guys are a good resource and figured I would ask you. My toddler is starting daycare next week and is having a very difficult time every time I leave the room. She is fine if she is leaving the room/apt with someone else like my mom but always cries if I am the one living the apt. How do you deal with that? My husband thinks it is better to sneak out and I think it’s better to ... More

  • Jennifer

    My 4yr old daughter cries from time to time still when I drop her off to daycare. She is very very attach to me. But never sneak out on your kid. I would just say the same thing like other moms that "mommy has work and I will pick you up after when I'm done. You have fun at school playing with your friends, see you later, love you!" she will cry for me not to leave but the te... More

  • Erin

    We've had good luck with a "goodbye ritual." It started off as two high fives and a hug, but has grown a bit since then. My kids know what it means, but it helps end on a positive note. And on a really rough day, they refuse to do it, which helps me know they need a few extra minutes, more time to engage with the classroom, or an extra cuddle before I leave.

Erin posted in Child Care Aug 10

Starting to look at daycares, does anyone have a preference of home vs daycare center?

  • Teresa

    I would say day care center, unless you got a strong recommendation from someone you trusted. You may pay lower weekly fees, but family day care centers tend to have more scheduled time off (ie summer vacations, thanksgiving/Christmas break). If there’s a family emergency or sickness, then the day care home will be closed. So unless you have back up care available or a flexible work schedule, I... More

  • Julie

    Hi Cassie, I am going to try to be as tactful as possible but I will likely fail. I’m just wondering where you got the statistic that “lower income kids statistically have more behavior issues?” I’ve never heard that and take issue with it. You’re opening yourself up to a lot of criticism saying things like that. For example, you left your 3 year old daughter at a daycare for 10 hours just 2 ... More

Anonymous posted in Child Care Aug 09

Good daycare bad neighborhood

We’ve been looking at day cares for our 3 year old and finally found one we like. The owners seem great, have a good philosophy around learning and play, yet aren’t too dogmatic like some that we visited. Our little one liked it too. She seemed very relaxed and at home. Only thing is that the daycare is in a sketchy neighborhood. While I didn’t feel in danger driving up to the daycare, I woul... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 10

    That's kind of tough, because it's hard finding a good daycare you trust that your child is comfortable with. Do you have time to keep looking? Idk if I'd feel comfortable with the neighborhood myself. I'm not sure where you live but I'd be worried for pick ups and drop offs when it's dark in the morning and night during the winter. On the other hand, if you didn't... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 10

    Thanks for the reply. It helps to hear how someone else thinks about this. I’m not sure what we’re gonna do. I’d like to keep looking, but the choices are so limited. Most places have wait lists way into next year. If we don’t take this, we may not get something for a while. I’d rather have a safe place on the inside too, but if there’s even a remote chance there would be gunshots outside, ... More

Karla posted in Pumping Aug 08

Spectra or Medela?

For a working parent (that takes public transit!) what’s the best choice?

  • Maisha
    Aug 10

    Hi. I think Freemies are great on-the-go. Don’t plan to completely empty but I get maybe 80%. And that’s the Spectra 9. I have the Soectra 2 for home, use a Medela Symphony occasionally.

  • Karla
    Aug 11

    Hi Maisha, glad to hear it. My Commute is public transit so I’m not sure if I would be comfortable. Do you think it’s worth it to use it at home? Does it make the experience less annoying?

Emily posted in Pumping Aug 08

What is the best breast pump? I want to make sure I get one that will make life simpler.

  • Jessica
    Aug 08

    I have a Spectra 2. I love it. Medela pumps feel weak in comparison.

  • Rachel
    Aug 08

    At breastfeeding class they said spectra was best

Anonymous posted in Child Care Aug 07

What should I do with my career? I have worked in medical for 15 years and love it.

I have work in the medical field for 15 years and love my job a career. I would not trade it for the world but I just had my first Baby and my husband works at night and I work all day. It is hard to find a good trusting baby sitter for the days when I work and he needs sleep. What do other parents do in the situation? I would like some suggestions if anyone else has been in this same place e... More

  • Anne
    Aug 09

    It’s tough but it can be done. Look up in-home daycares in your area. Some of them will do “nonstandard” hours. You can also get a nanny as a way to make it work. Does your employer offer any childcare support? If you have an EAP sometimes they can help you find a provider that fits your schedule.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 09

    Those are all great ideas. Thanks for your input in helping me try to decide if I should stick with working my job and find a care taker or go find something a little different in the work schedule but doing what I love in the medical field.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 07

Absent father

My husband is a civilian for the Navy and immediately after my daughter was born started traveling for work constantly, with very little notice anywhere from 1 week to a month at a time. Even though I've come to accept that this is part of our lives, I have a very hard time not being resentful towards him, feeling overwhelmed and envious of families with both parents where it's not all ... More

  • TJ
    Aug 09

    My husband is Navy too and frequently goes on underways. The first was when our son was 6 days old. I’m sorry that this is such a stressful time for you and your marriage. What has helped with us is to do videos and recordings of my husband. Both just talking or singing to baby or of him playing and spending time with him. I play some of these videos for my son on a daily basis to help him reme... More

  • WendyApril
    Aug 09

    If you feel resentment, your child will pick up on those emotions and display them too. You need to work on your emotions and make the best of the situation. Tell yourself daily that you are thankful for what you have and do your best to make peace with it. Also, maybe your husband looks into retiring after this contract. This life may not be for your family.

Is it ok to expect a run down of your child’s day from Daycare? I get a: ‘she is doing great’, ‘she ate a lot and now sleeping’. End of day ‘she did really good, played with some toys, in the doll house, likes the swing. Very good.’ Hmm? Am I being overprotective?

  • Carolina
    Aug 11

    It is crazy. Especially when they are babies.

Jamie posted in Pumping Aug 07

Breast pumps. Does anybody know what you do with them when you are done using them?

  • iliana

    Same dead end every time I kick this research back up ... Because pumps "officially" aren't suggested for sharing (even closed systems (despite being able to rent the hospital-grade ones)), I've not found anyone who formally runs an effort to get them into needy hands. My next attempt is to post on a Facebook mom forum for anyone in need who doesn't have insurance and migh... More

  • Amy

    Maybe try a shelter for women..

Anonymous posted in Child Care Aug 07

Home care or day care?

FTM and scared to go back to work! Thinking about where to bring him is just overwhelming.... it would only be part time (thank god) which is why I thought maybe home care would be easier? However, a day care I wouldn’t have to worry about baby sitter needing time off/being sick/leaving me hanging..... help :(

  • Adriana
    Aug 08

    My son who is almost 2 have done both a daycare and a at home day care, and we LOVE his daycare!! They have rules and regulations that are in place to keep the children safe! It's a little more expensive but he gets a lot more structure and a better learning environment!

Anonymous posted in Pumping Aug 07

I'm pumping exclusively since my little one unfortunately does not breastfeed. I use the spectra s2 that my insurance paid for and it has been working great so far. I'm going back to work in a month and am worried that I won't have the time to be hooked to the unit for half an hour. I'm looking for recommendations on portable/travel size pump that won't burn a hole in my poc... More

Potty training age?

Is 2 too young to potty train? I’m on maternity leave and would love to potty train my older child while I’m still home but don’t want to rush it - is 2 too early?

  • LisaP
    Aug 08

    DS will turn 3 in Nov. We still use a diaper overnight but take it off first thing in the morning and only* put it on for bed. I don’t want to deal with overnight wet sheets and would rather have the extra sleep. *He also refuses to poop in the potty and will ask for a diaper when She he needs to poop. I’m really hoping that ends soon...Like today

  • T
    Aug 09

    As long as child is showing signs of readiness. I’d go for it w/o being pushy.

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