Working Parents

Working parents have two jobs — one at home with their children and one at their place of business. Learning to balance it all is a tough but rewarding process.

This is a place to for working moms and dads to share experiences and get advice, whether it's tips on work-life balance or help finding child care.

Sanaz posted in Child Care Monday

Preparing for daycare

Hi everyone. I am sending my 11 month old baby to daycare. I was wondering what kind of bags and containers you use to send all these items to daycare? Also what kind of food do you prepare and send with your baby? Thanks

  • B
    Monday

    Ask your daycare. I didn’t send food after 1 year, because they provide. Before that I had small tubberwares. Buy name labels (I got mine from dinkleboo) and put them on anything you send.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Friday

How do you find the energy / time to do other things?

Real talk - my husband and I both work full time and have 1-hour commutes. After our 2 year old son goes down for the day around 8or 9, my husband and I rarely have energy for anything else but sleep. This delays things like pre-school applications, home renovation planning, and buying things for the house. How do you all find the time and energy to run the house when you are so exhausted? Inte... More

  • Lana
    Monday

    I quit my previous work and took a public sector job, in which I can have sick leaves and vacation. Pay is lower but life is more manageable. It's been good but I don't have any time for myself. The only "me" time is in my car to work, so I read audio books now.

  • May-Ling
    Monday

    if you can, use vacation days for self-care and to get things done... also if you have the means to have someone regularly watch your child for 4-5 hours on the weekend, don't feel guilty about it - make it happen and use that time for leisure, chores, or exercise. you should also trade off playground time on the weekend so one person can be 'off.' my partner and i have a monthly m... More

Getting 20 month old used to me leaving him

My son recently stared day care and this is the first time he’s being watched by people he doesn’t know. When I leave he cries for me. How do I get him more comfortable?

Breast pumps reccs !!! I have a choice between Medela pump in style Freemie hands free pump Evenflow delux advances Lansinoh Smart pump. In the past I’ve used medela wondering if any of the others are considered better ?

  • Amy
    Jun 14

    @mal - much quieter too! The mother's room at my office has thin walls, so much more comfortable using this. I actually even take calls while pumping. The lower settings are very quiet. Spectra allows you to tune the frequency of the suction AND the strength. Also, it vibrates a bit, feels like a baby's suckle.

  • Heather
    Jun 14

    Willow pump looks amazing! Haven’t used it as it came out after I bought my medela. Medela was rated the best and I would describe it as fine. Spills happen and the suction isn’t always great.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jun 14

What would you do

Our nanny recently disclosed to us that she won’t be able to care for our children past a certain date because she is seeking help from a mental health treatment center out-of-state. This hit me like a ton of bricks. She had mentioned she had previously been on medication for insomnia but nothing of this nature. I asked her if it would affect her abilities with watching them until then and s... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14

    Would you feel comfortable setting time aside to have a conversation about it? I would think since she told you as much as she did there is some level of trust there. It may also ease your mind to know what she was seeking treatment for.

  • Andrea
    Friday

    This person is in your home, taking care of your children. It’s your business, especially since she’s now changed her mind about treatment.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jun 13

Nanny Doubts

Is it just me or do others with a full time nanny wish their nanny was more take-charge and didn’t need so much direction/guidance on a daily basis? Other gripes: she tells me every little thing she is going to do (I tell her she doesn’t need to tell me, just do it), she sometimes forgets some of her basic chores (I have to remind her at times), she often lacks common sense and doesn’t know how... More

  • Jenny
    Jun 14

    I wonder if it’s the fact that you are there. She wants to please you and keep you happy, rather than second guess she just asks your preference. If she asks for your opinion or advice, could you ask her back instead “what would you do” “what do you think [my son] would prefer”. This could build her confidence. It seems she helps out with so much that she might lose track of the routine items -... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14

    Ashley, I have but probably not enough as I honestly could. Thank you for the suggestion!

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jun 13

Need some advice!

I'm a stay at home mom with a 2 yr old. My brother-in-law is going through a divorce and also has a 2 yr old. He asked if I would watch my nephew every other week during the day while he's at work. I agreed but told him I could only do it until he got full time childcare figured out because my husband and I are starting the process of adoption . So now it's been over 3 months that I... More

  • Anne
    Jun 13

    Yikes this is a bad situation. He's getting free child care, why would he change anything? I would probably have a serious talk about this and say if you're going to keep watching his child he's going to have to compensate you in some way. No working parent gets free childcare, we all have to fit it into our budget somehow. That said, he's the father and if he decides to have ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 13

    Great advice, thank you!

Raine posted in Child Care Jun 13

Daycare Gifting

Hi there parents! So my husband and I are moving out of state and as a result be leaving our daycare where our daughter has been since she was 5 months old. She’s 2 in August. I’d like to do something nice for them but I don’t know where to begin! Any recommendations? Would love to hear your thoughts.

  • Juli
    Friday

    I worked as a daycare/preschool teacher and honestly the best gifts were always edible lol or a card/drawing by the kiddo. Coffee cards and small wine bottles are good for one or two teachers (though I don’t drink so the gesture was nice but I gave mine away) but if it’s the whole staff you want to thank then planning to cater a lunch as mentioned above would be soo appreciated by all! I would ... More

  • Raine
    Friday

    Thank you all for the suggestions. I ordered lunch for everyone today and it worked out so well.

Tyler posted in Newborns Jun 13

Dads/Partners of Winnie, how much time did you get for paternal leave?

My wife and I are having a baby soon and I'd like to ask for a reasonable amount of time off. How much time did you ask for? Did your employer set a specific amount of time? What are some negotiation tactics you used for asking for more time?

  • Sara
    Jun 14

    My husband worked for a church and got 0 days off.. so frustrating! I would’ve killed for 2 days! He did get to stay at the hospital with me, though, which was a relief 💜

  • Sarah
    Jun 15

    My husband took the first week after our son was born off and then worked shorter days for the remainder of the month (about 3 weeks) so he worked 8ish hour days instead of his usual 10 hour schedule. Our plan was for him to take 2 weeks off but my mom ended up coming into town for the second week so I felt like I had enough support. Then after I went back to work at 12 weeks, he took the next ... More

J posted in Bottle Feeding Jun 12

Working Moms: breastmilk vs formula

I’ve been wondering, does anyone know of references or statistics about working moms using formula vs breastmilk? The lack of lactation accommodations at conferences is irritating and I’m thinking perhaps it is because most working moms use formula? Just wondering really...

  • Jennifer
    Jun 13

    I pumped at work. I work full time and would pump wherever I could find an empty space.

  • JJ
    Jun 13

    Legally you should be provided with a private space to pump and place to store your milk. That being said I work 80 hours a week on my feet in a male dominated field, always on the go. I never have the time. But then again, I never had any desire to breastfeed so it wasn’t a problem for me.

Nursing at Daycare

I am new to daycare. Today my schedule was funky and timing was such that baby needed to nurse at drop-off. His care provider said I couldn't nurse in the room and took me to a separate office space. Anyone know of state policy that would enable or prohibit breastfeeding in a daycare room. This felt bizzare as it seemed natural to breastfeed a baby at daycare.

  • Teresa
    Jun 13

    There should be something regarding this issue in your child care policy and procedure manual or check with the state licensing agency. If your unable to find anything with those resources, I would suggest bring it up to the classroom teacher or director about your concerns. I assume that you provide expressed milk in bottles during the day and this is first time you needed to feed the baby b... More

  • Julie
    Saturday

    Hi Amy, I think you should discuss with the director. Having bad feelings about your daycare and the place you leave your child every day is a terrible thing. Ask them why they let parents bottle feed in the room and not nurse. Maybe they have what they think is legitimate reason for it, who knows.

Working breastfeeding pumping mom

How often should I be pumping? My coworker said she pumped every 2 hours before she went back to work to boost her supply, so she can pump every 3 hours at work. Then she would pump every 3 hours at home too. Even when her baby slept through the night, she would still pump. I noticed my supply began going down through the week during my first week of work. I only pumped at work. Should I be pum... More

  • Tiffany
    Jun 10

    It depends on if you are nursing as well. Pumping is supposed to mimic how often your baby eats so you are signaling to your body to produce more milk. Before my daughter had any solids I pumped every 3 hours, and then only nursed her once I got back. One she started eating more solids, I started stretching out the time between pumping. Good luck! There's a lot of math involved in determin... More

  • Stephanie
    Jun 12

    I would try to do that evening pump after baby was in bed on weekends too just to have extra milk to send in/store.

Anonymous posted in Pumping Jun 08

What if you pump and baby wakes hungry immediately after?

Do you bottlefeed? If you breastfeed, what if baby cries because no milk is coming out?

  • Miranda
    Jun 09

    I would still nurse, your never completely empty and your baby is most likely better at getting milk out than your pump. If anything, start on the breast (offer both) then supplement if you need to.

Turah posted in Child Care Jun 07

Daycare whoas — needed to vent and advice

I have a 6mo and she has been going to daycare for 3 months now. I’m starting to notice little areas where I feel they are being a little neglectful when it comes to her but at the same time I don’t want to feel like I’m jumping the gun. I’ve noticed an increase of kids but not an increase of staff and today when I called around 12:30 (I call literally every day to see how she’s doing) and th... More

  • Jennifer
    Jun 08

    This is the Care Card my daycare gives me each day. This one in particular I picked my kids up at 3 so her last feeding was 1pm. They track how many wet / dirty diapers, when and how much she eats, if they give solids, and comments for if they need more clothes or formula. It has really helped me relax while they’re there. I also have a 2 year old there, but he can’t speak for himself or tell ... More

  • B
    Jun 08

    Like Jennifer said, any daycare I’ve ever seen tracks food and diapers and should tell you. If yours doesn’t, ask. And tell them the minimum bottles a day. My babe is tiny and hated bottles, but still drank a minimum of 10oz a day (and they said other kids had wayyyy more).

Anonymous posted in Tricks of the Trade Jun 07

Entertaining 8 month old while working

I work from home and have to put in a certain amount of hours each day. My LO just started crawling which made things even more difficult. I have a saucer, jumper, high chair, and a playpen that I alternate while I work, but she starts fussing after only 10-15 min in each of them (if not immediately). I also take breaks during the day so she can crawl around in the nursery and our bedroom and g... More

  • Denia
    Jun 07

    I would say get someone to help you. Maybe for a few hours. You will be there but help us good.

  • B
    Jun 07

    As your baby gets older and more mobile, it’s going to be virtually impossible to do. You’ll probably need to shift your hours, get some help, or find a coworking space that has childcare (there are a few in our area). When I’m home with my sick 1yr old, I’ve tried to work while she plays, and the result is terrible work and guilt that she’s not getting what she needs

JH posted in Child Care Jun 07

Daycare too quick to send child home?

Our 21 month old has been in day care for about 6 months now, and he has probably been sent home "sick" from day care about 10 or more times during that period. He's new to day care, and everyone was ravaged by this winter's cold/flu season, so it's not surprising he's picked up a few bugs here and there - pinkeye, HFM, strep among them. But 10+ feels like a lot, and ... More

  • Erin
    Jun 11

    My son had a consistent runny nose his ENTIRE LIFE from the start of daycare at 3 months, until I switched him to a new sitter 2 months ago. He was getting sick FROM the daycare and they were sending him home ALL THE TIME. It became too much and not worth the benefit. He’s now with a new sitter, he’s barely ever sick, sleeps well, and is more energetic. I say, think about switching. As much as ... More

  • Shae
    Jun 11

    My son was in daycare for a month his whole class had runny noses everyday,he also contracted hfm

C posted in Breastfeeding Jun 07

Breast Pump Advice

Has anyone had any experience with the Spectra 2 breast pump? Is it good for first time pumpers??

  • C
    Jun 08

    thank you ladies so much

  • Adria
    Monday

    I was working full time after 6 weeks of maternity leave and was dedicated to having my son be fully breastfed. This pump is super portable and quiet- it let me pump discreetly and comfortably! Love the “letdown” massage mode. It really is a very gentle but strong pump.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jun 06

Anyone use Poppins Payroll?

I'm looking to set up payroll for our nanny and am curious if anyone has experience with Poppins Payroll. Was it easy to set up and use? It seems very similar to Homepay but half the cost so I'm wondering if there are major differences I should be on the look out for. Thanks!

  • Nicole
    Jun 07

    Never heard of it but just checked it out and it looks awesome! We use Sure payroll but this looks more niche focused! I wish I would have known about this

  • Kaci
    Sunday

    Hey there! I use it to pay our Nanny. The other family in our Nanny share uses it as well. We all love it because it's super easy. It's cheaper than the alternative and hasn't let us down.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jun 05

Daycare vs preschool

Hi everyone! I am a little confused and not sure what to do. My little one is 14 months and we might have a space in daycare in September (we’ve been on the waitlist for over 1 year...). I am currently SAHM and love it! My question is: would you take that spot (in this daycare that I toured and loved but I also don’t feel ready to leave her) or wait so she just goes to preschool at 2? Tha... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 06

    Also preschool that I am looking at would be full time as we cannot afford a babysitter or nanny until my husband comes back from work

  • Ashley
    Jun 06

    It's really up to your personal preference. Being home with babies is a wonderful experience. But my kids have also learned and grown so much from being in daycare and I'm not sure they would have grown as much just from being with me. I think it's best to examine your schedule, budget, if you'll be able to get into a school/daycare you want if you pass this one up, and what you... More

Day care or nanny?

Thoughts on pros / cons of these options?

  • Rosa
    Jun 05

    My kids go to daycare and I truly love it. They get to make friends and socialize with other kids. The daycare provider is friendly and nice. She always keeps me posted on how the day went for my kids.

  • Jenny
    Jun 05

    We shared a nanny for the first 3 years with my daughter. It was great but as they got close to 3, as a group we agreed that daycare and preschool was the next step. We went straight to daycare with my son, as there was a 4 year age gap between kids and we needed to be in one spot for both. Pros to nanny: when the kids are sick, nanny still works; don’t need to pack up stuff and haul baby daily... More

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