Behavior

Discuss any of your child's behavioral concerns to learn what's normal and what's not and get tips on how to deal with lying, biting, hitting, acting out and more.

Ant posted in Behavior Thursday

Am I a bad father :(

Hi everyone, I hope this is ok to post here, I am quite new to this but would love to get the insight and advice from anyone who may have had a similar situation. I am 33 years old, a father of 2 wonderful boys aged (3 & 5) years old. They have had a pretty rough year, as we relocated country (for work purposes), and then relocated from one side of the country to the other all in a space ... More

  • Anonymous
    Yesterday

    You’re not a bad father for recognizing and admitting this. I think if the cuddles and love outweigh the yelling, they should be fine. My mom was a yeller... I think I turned out ok. Just make sure that you take the time to talk to them. Apologize for yelling and try to explain to them that you were angry/frustrated and why. Maybe sit down and talk to them about how when you’re on the phone a... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Wednesday

How do you get anything done?

I’m a believer and practicer of gentle parenting (I’m not perfect, but it’s the method I use most often and believe is the best). My son is almost 2 and I have gotten virtually nothing done since he was born outside of his naps or if I stay up really late. I’m wondering how any of you moms get anything done? It seems like every time he sees me doing something that doesn’t revolve around him, he... More

  • B
    Thursday

    Same. I plan all my work during his naps, leave picking up the house until he goes to sleep at night and then call it a day. It’s annoying but I remind myself that it’s a relatively short part of my daughters life. She’s 2 now and in another year or so she’ll be going to part time preschool and then school. It won’t always be like this.

  • HR
    Friday

    It doesn’t work *every* time, but I’ve found some success with trying to include my 2-year-old when I’m doing things: asking him to “help” me pick up, giving him his own paper/pen when paying bills & asking him for “help” by writing on his own paper, giving him a piece of laundry to “fold,” giving him a pot & a spoon so he can “cook” at the kitchen table while I cook at the stove... I m... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Monday

Refusing to use the toilet for it’s purpose!

My 3year old son knows how to use the toilet already. He can use our toilet seat but i still put his toilet seat so its way comfortable for him. Everytime he needs to have BM, he will runaway from me and refused to sit on the toilet seat. I can see on his face that he is afraid that his poop coming out of his buttoms. The feeling that something gonna come out makes him refuse to sir in the pott... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    I will have to try the raisins lol. When he was a baby he was very constipated because his pedia told us not to give any water and he cried so badly. And we decided to give him water since then and helped him to poop.

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    We actually stayed with him while he is sitting in the toilet but he was fighting back that he almost fall inside the toilet lol... Just to add something, I born his in the toilet and my husband catched him:). So we all thinking maybe that is why he hates toilets lol.... Also, we had a hard time when we are outside like the mall, he won’t like to sit in the potty or the idea of going to the... More

C posted in Behavior Dec 01

Is it always a struggle to make kids sleep on time?

I tell people my now 15 month old has been refusing to sleep since he was a young baby. They say he’ll pass out once he’s too tired, and then I know they are underestimating my situation, because this has never happened in his post newborn life. He will literally blast past nap times, sleep time, grow dark circles under his eyes, rub his eyes till they're red, get slow and cranky, even melt... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 05

    My fail safe is a car ride on a freeway, any long drive over 45 mph. I’m sorry though, if waking up is a problem as well I don’t have a tip for that. Is the diet good? Not a lot of sugar or fruit before bed? I wish you the best.

  • HR
    Dec 05

    Would it be worth it to try to get a referral to a sleep clinic? Maybe they’d be able to figure something out?

C posted in Behavior Nov 29

Toddler wakes up upset

It doesn’t seem to matter where he sleeps, when, or how long. He wakes up crying or whiny, often before his eyes are even open. He settles down after a minute or two of being fully awake, but still: Why and how to fix it?

  • anonymous mom
    Dec 03

    My daughter does this when she wakes up abruptly or when she wakes up in the dark. I try to catch her before she wakes up and open some window shades or turn on some music so she will have a gentler wakeup. It helps sometimes but sometimes she’s still a grump for a few minutes till she gets into the flow of things.

  • Vonda
    Dec 05

    It’s something he will get over. Just let him put himself back to sleep. Unless he wakes up fully and won’t go back to sleep after a few minutes; then go in. I usually just comfort him by hugging my son while he is sitting up in bed. Then when he’s ready he lays back down and goes to sleep.

Lilina posted in Behavior Nov 28

Not good around a lot of people

My LO Is 5 months and I admit I haven’t taken him around a lot of people. We live far from family and he is not in daycare. When we do go to family events everyone wants to hold him and play with him but he gets overwhelmed and cries a lot. Any advice on how to break this habit? I want him to feel comfortable around other people.

  • Sara
    Dec 01

    He’s still young so I wouldn’t worry that he needs a ton of socialization right now anyway. Start small — trips to the grocery store, library (and see if they have free storytimes), errands, etc. It will be good for him just to get out and observe the world around him.

  • Eleanor
    Dec 02

    He’s so so young, don’t worry at all. Just snuggle him when he cries, he’ll let you know when he’s ready to expand his social circle!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 27

Feeling Depressed/Need A Plan

My family is military, and we have moved twice in the past year alone. It’s me and my two little kids and we are staying at my in-laws’ place for a little while. My in-laws are really great, and even help me with nighttime stuff with the kiddos, which I love. The problem is with my 3 year old. She’s a sensitive kid, but also VERY smart and manipulative. For the longest time when it was me and ... More

  • Eleanor
    Dec 02

    When I was scared at night my parents had a blanket or sleeping bag on their bedroom floor for me. I only used it when I really was scared! Floors aren’t too comfy. Before that I would say I was scared so I could snuggle them 😂

  • Anonymous
    Dec 04

    I just let them come in my bed. Once they fall back to sleep I put them in their bed....or don’t. It’s just a phase and 3 is still pretty little. Lots of change is hard on everyone but especially little ones.

Brandy posted in Behavior Nov 26

Throwing himself back

My son is about to be 9 months old and he is constantly throwing himself back when he gets upset. If I sit him down and he doesn’t want that he will throw himself back and there will be occasions where it’s random and I’m not there to catch him. I’m scared for him because I feel if he keeps this up as he gets older he will end up hurting himself. Is there any way I can avoid this or teach him a... More

J posted in Behavior Nov 19

Books about emotions?

My almost 2 yr old is just getting super frustrated and lashing out when he doesn’t get his way or we simply don’t understand him. i want to start teaching him more about emotions and he responds to books well. Any book recommendations that cover this topic?

  • Jennifer
    Dec 01

    Just wanted to second two replies: (1) the Little Monkey Calms Down (and other Hello Genius) board books have worked great for our 18 month old, and (2) what Ashleigh recommends—helping identify the emotion for your little...I know when I started saying things similar to Ashleigh’s example to our toddler, she would stop to listen or say yes/no to confirm that it was how she felt.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 18

Favoring her dad

My 16 month old little girl suddenly favors her dad over me. If i try to grab her from him she gets really upset, almost as if I'm a stranger. She only wants to be held by him and she is super cuddly with him. I work part time and dad works full time so i am with her more. I can't help it but it hurts my feelings! I can't help but feel like I’ve done something wrong. Please tell me ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 22

    Amanda, that is super similar to my situation. I think you must be right- it makes sense. She just needs get dad, which is a good thing because it means he's a good dad. Thank you for the insight, that made me feel much better

  • Penelope
    Dec 02

    It’ll change

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 16

Potty blues

We started potty training (24 month old) last weekend and it was going pretty well! He’d pee in the potty if we asked and even went a few times on his own. Today (day 7) he woke up and COMPLETELY refused to even sit on the potty. Held his pee for 4 hours before it all came pouring out. And did the same another 4 hours later..... we did the “oh crap” method and I am so disappointed with how toda... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 18

    Also, there is the option of letting him stand. He’s gonna figure it out anyway on his own.

  • anonymous mom
    Nov 20

    Keep going. We went through about 3-4 weeks with my daughter crying and sobbing about trying the potty after months of success. Then she went through at least 3 weeks where she was afraid of having accidents and wanted to just sit on the potty constantly. I just kept going...and for the last few months she’s been great. I think it’s just something that they have to work through. No matter what,... More

C posted in Behavior Nov 07

Sudden attachment/abandonment issues?

My son has been in daycare since he was 9 months old. He never needed to adjust to his daycare. In fact, he likes it at daycare so much that when I pick him up there, he’s so into whatever toy he’s playing with that he doesn’t notice me. The staff there love that he’s the mellowest, easiest baby to look after. Now he’s 14 months old, and for the past 2-3 weeks he cries when I drop him off at ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    Normal! Just keep your routine and everything the exact same, like all things baby, this will pass

  • Miss Maple
    Nov 13

    Your son may be giving you evidence of a cognitive leap - he loves you and does not like to see you go... and now he can remember that when you leave it is for a while, not just a moment. He will learn to manage those feelings AND the awareness that you will be gone for a while soon. As he grows he is likely to have other leaps of awareness that make separation difficult or (this can be worse f... More

18 months super clingy

Our little girl is 18 months and just in the last week has been SO CLINGY. She wants me to hold her all the time, despite being a great walker (and recently figuring out running). She wants cuddles ALL the time, and won’t go to bed unless I hold her first. The trouble is I’m 7 months pregnant and struggling to carry her around this much. Is it just a phase or behavior I’ll need to wean her ... More

  • Chelsa
    Nov 06

    My 22 month old just started doing this not too long ago, too. Especially when other people are around and he wants all my attention. I remember our oldest doing the same thing around this time, also. It’ll pass! Congratulations!

  • Jess
    Nov 08

    My son was doing the exact same thing around the 18 month mark! It's a phase for sure. He wouldn't even let his dad console him when upset. Had to be me for everything. Super clingy and lots of separation anxiety. Lasted about 3 weeks, the just stopped🤷🏼‍♀️ Just be patient, reassuring, and loving. That's all you can do.

Ashly posted in Behavior Nov 04

Tantrums suddenly

I feel my four year old has back tracked and is going through her terrible twos. Her tantrums are out of control. Started Halloween after we spent time with cousins! It has never been this bad. 😫

  • Jennie
    Nov 07

    It's pretty common to have a tantrum phase every now and then. It's usually during a development period where they just can't catch up to their brain... she has thoughts and opinions she can't identify or communicate and it's frustrating. Also I notice a huge behavior change when we stay up late or overindulge or spend time with people who overwhelm my kids (coughcough gran... More

Tiffany posted in Behavior Nov 03

Kids misbehavior in the car!.. 😩😫

For some reason , every time we get in the car to go run errands or pretty much do anything, my kids act like wild children ! They don’t seem to get the importance of putting their seatbelts on. No matter how many times I tell them to buckle their seatbelts. They just take it off. And they’re arguing and fighting and making messes. This drives me CRAZY! I then lose it and yell at them. After do... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 01

Toddler and infant stress

My wife and I have a 23 month old and a almost 2 month old. I still lose my cool when one of them are crying and causing a scene in public. My wife says that she needs a partner and to get over letting the stress get to me but I can’t do that. It feels instinctual to react. I don’t want to, but it just happens. I need to figure out a way to cope with the stress because it just causes instant an... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 06

    My first two were 17 months apart. My husband and I learned a lot then. The best way that worked for us was thinking about it scientifically. They are not trying to embarrass you or make you miserable. Their brains just aren’t there yet. They physically do not know how to process their emotions in a “civil” manner. Part of the reason you react is likely cause your exhausted, and that cuts into... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 06

    Babies are hard to deal with, sometimes, especially when you’ve got two under two. My husband used to be the same way when our two kids were babies/toddlers. Their crying or tantrums drove up his anxiety levels and he’d end up frustrated or get upset when they’d have meltdowns. What worked for him at first was stepping away for a few minutes to cool down and remove himself from the situation ... More

Sara posted in Behavior Oct 29

Getting toddler out the door

My son is almost 2.5yo and is very interested in dictating what he does, doing everything himself, and throwing tantrums if one little thing goes wrong. I can normally deal with the outbursts, whining and tantrums, but when we have to leave the house to go somewhere it gets ridiculous. We have a pretty consistent morning routine and I’ve lately taken the “Positive Discipline” advice of talkin... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Ive always been curious about the “give to options and let them pick” idea because when I try that my son yells NO to both options 🙄

  • Nancy
    Nov 03

    I have the same problem with my 2.5yo. My approach is to make a list together with him in the morning of the tasks that need to get done on paper and let him hold the paper list while we do each of the things. Because he helps to make the list, he is then very excited to do all the tasks.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Oct 29

Toddler scared of bedroom

Our toddler is scared of various things at night in his bedroom (fan, monitor camera, etc). He won't sleep without us. Trying to get him to stay in his room and face it, we end up with him. I got three hours of sleep last night. Please help.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    What worked for my niece was “scary spray” they put water in a spray bottle and she got to keep it w her at night. She sprayed everything that was scaring her. It worked 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • Sara
    Nov 01

    I recently read an article on the internet suggesting that you play games in the dark in their room with glow sticks or glow in the dark toys, making it fun and not scary. Our toddler also just started being afraid to sleep in his room because it’s so dark. We got him a night light which is helping, but I definitely want to try the glow in the dark games too!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Oct 28

Second child tantrums

I have two daughters. My older one is 4 and my younger one is 17 months. My younger daughter goes crazy if she doesn’t get her way. She will get extremely physical (tantrums, biting, hitting, etc) and has even hurt her older sister on multiple occasions. Her older sister is SO GOOD TO HER. Always giving her what she wants and being so sweet to her. I just don’t get why my 17 month old acts this... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    I don’t know about a second child thing because my son went through this for a few months around 18 mo. But I just did my best to be calm and stop his in his tracks as often as I could reminding him that how he was acting wasn’t nice and telling him what is a nice way to act. I think his bad behavior really peaked at this time bc his words were still SO limited, I’d think it was all out of frus... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 30

    No, it’s not a second child thing. Kids are different. Doesn’t matter gender or family rank. This also sounds normal for a 1.5 yr old sorting out how to establish themselves in the world. Do you let her buckle herself? My almost two has been buckling the chest buckle for a while now. She’s always proud to do that. She sounds like she may be needing more power. Can you find ways to give her more... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Oct 21

Hostile nature in preschooler

I have a 4 year old son who worries me. He has a natural aggression in him that manifests itself during the most mundane and innocuous situations. I would never use the word friendly or happy to describe him (but he CAN be friendly and happy). He's just so serious- but talkative and verbally advanced. He scowls at people who are trying to be nice to him or he'll get mad about really rid... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 25

    I have a 18 month old and I’m going through the same, he was never the regular baby who would smile back at people, now it’s just worse, he gets aggressive, he yells, hits himself he’s super intelligent I had looked for signs of autism in him but he doesn’t have none

  • Heather
    Oct 26

    This sounds like my son too. He has a difficult time in school settings and it’s starting to cause a lot of stress. He just started a new home daycare/preschool 3 weeks ago and we were told if he hits one more time he will have to leave. Both my husband and I work and need care. Just don’t know if I should just get a nanny or try another center. I have taken him to see behavioral pediatrician a... More

Load More