Relationships

This just in — parents need friends their own age too. Fight the isolation of parenthood by staying connected with your family & friends.

Discuss and share insights about nurturing and navigating your adult relationships, from your spouse to your in-laws to your friends and family.

Anonymous posted in Family Life 6h ago

How to get hubby more involved with kids

My husband and I both work full time and have two daughters, a preschooler and first grader. I work locally with some work from home flexibility, while my husband works a high-stress, frequent-travel job. We have a pretty good routine that works for us as a family, but I struggle with how I can convince my husband to take more interest in, and become more actively involved with the girls. He&#... More

  • Kaitlyn
    6m ago

    I feel like a lot of men are like this. I've had this conversation many times with my girlfriend. You can get your husband more involved with family outings. Like taking the girls to the park or some kind of play place. He will have no choice but to be involved 👌

  • Ashley
    3m ago

    He may not be the softball coach but are there things he enjoys doing that the girls could also be involved in? It could be as simple as introducing them to his favorite songs or watching an old childhood movie he loves.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Yesterday

IUD check ups

I got an IUD about 10 months ago and I honestly don’t know how to self check it? I’m worried because my husband said a couple times that he can feel a poke which I’m guessing are the strings because he said it was soft. I’ve read about it and my obgyn said for me to check it every month to see if it’s still in place. But I’ve tried to myself and I can’t feel a thing. I’m under my husbands work ... More

  • Ashley
    16m ago

    A sitting or squatting position is probably the easiest way. A partner being able to feel the strings is pretty common. My doctor told me she could cut them a little bit shorter if that happened, but that's not always possible if they're already pretty short. If not being able to check the strings is causing you a lot of stress, it could be worth it to just make one appointment and ask ... More

Nakedness in front of young children

How old is too old to be seen naked by your child. I have no problem getting out of the shower or changing in front of my son. He doesn't seem to notice, he's probably so use to it. I feel if there's no awkwardness, it isn't an issue, but would like some thoughts.

  • Vee
    1h ago

    Kids dont really have the same thoughts as adults naturally. It's just our bodies to them. They know we wear clothes when we're out and can do what we want at home. They don't know how to make it weird, and no one should have to tell them it is.

  • George
    55m ago

    At the risk of allowing this to live on the internet forever. Changing clothes in front of a small child creates a good habit of putting dirty clothes away rather than throwing them in the ground for you to pick up later. Nix bad teenage habits early.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Yesterday

Asking someone to be a godparent

Any good ideas or advice on how to do this? We’d like to ask my cousin but don’t want her to feel pressure of that she would necessarily have to care for our baby if the unthinkable happened.

  • Mafalda
    Yesterday

    I always think as a complement being invited to be godparent of a child! Of course you will choose someone who you trust and hope that will be a good caregiver in case of something happen but most probably (hope so) that will never happen! :) But, you could always ask how the person feel about being a godparent and talk openly about it and your “concern”! That’s what I would do if I was in ou... More

  • Superdad
    1h ago

    Yeah, just ask the question! What’s the big deal??

Anonymous posted in Family Life Tuesday

My husband doesn’t want my mom around

We have two kids under two I’m a SAHM and he works full time and travels a lot. I’m in school part time and do everything around the house with the exception of mowing the lawn he does that on weekends. My mom comes over sometimes to help watch the kids. Recently we went to the water park and on the way back to my house my mom became ill. Once we got home she went up to the spare bedroom and st... More

  • Anonymous
    Yesterday

    I try to make sure she’s gone when he get home which is a reasonable request on his part he travels 5 days a week most the time so he wants his time at home to be spent with just me and the kids not his MIL. The part that upsets me is he somehow thinks my mom is bad for the kids and I don’t know how to talk to him about it. I mean she’s not perfect and has made mistakes in the past but she wo... More

  • Superdad
    1h ago

    It IS unfair. Hopefully your husband can see past his short sidedness. Good luck!

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Monday

What to tell my daughter about her father

It is still in the distant future, but I want to be prepared when my daughter asks me about her father. My 10mo has never met her father. The first month of my pregnancy was spent with him and his family trying to convince me to get an abortion. After that first month he cut off all communication with me. I think if his family hadn't been so overbearing and controlling things would be a l... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    Hi 😊 This was the exact situation I grew up in. My mom had me very young and my father’s parents convinced him he could have me or have a life of his own, but not both. So he chose not to be around. I will say, my mom never said a bad word about him and I truly appreciate this. She shielded me from any drama and that is what a mom is supposed to do. Honestly, a little kid isn’t going to underst... More

Jenn posted in Family Life Monday

There’s no sick days when you have kiddos

I’ve been fighting for the better part of these past two weeks to not get sick. I have REALLY bad allergies and the pollen has been out of control. I’ve been avoiding going outside when I can and when I do, I usually wear a face mask, I’ve done saline rinses, shower twice a day and taking extra allergy pills. Started to feel crumby yesterday and it just progressed. Now, I’ve definitely develope... More

  • Ashley
    Monday

    So true. I'm fighting through a summer cold too. Feel better!

  • Dan The Dad
    Tuesday

    I am a SAHD and I try to avoid all sick ppl like the plague. I work in a lab and come in contact with gross samples all the time. I literally wash my hands a 100 times a day. Zicam, lemon echinacea tea and various medicinal herbs have help tremendously. I can’t afford to get sick, there is no one to watch little one if that happens. Hope you get better soon.

Anonymous posted in Making Friends Monday

First time moms?

First time moms with newborns: how do you deal with loneliness? I’ve been out with my baby and belong to a couple of Mom groups but some days feel pretty lonely. How do you cope?

  • Megan
    Tuesday

    I got some wireless headphones and netflixed on my phone.

  • Desiree
    Tuesday

    My son is 18 months old now, but when he was born it was the middle of winter and too cold to go anywhere, so we were stuck in the house. I took advantage of having a hobby during those times. I love to crochet (relaxes me like you wouldn’t believe) so I made sure to add that in to my days. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? Also, getting out of the house and just being out around people m... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Monday

Does anyone else get easily frustrated with their toddlers?

My son is 18 months and a lot of the time he’s great but he constantly messes up everything in his path. Anything clean is now a mess. I understand that that’s just toddler behavior, but when it’s coupled with not listening to me AT ALL (read: having to ask him to come over to me 50 billion times to put sunscreen on) my patience starts getting fried. I know I need more sleep at night because my... More

  • Kaitlyn
    Tuesday

    I have a 16 month old and I'm pregnant. I've been having similar issues with my patience then one day just last week my stern mommy voice and facial expression changed. Its stern and effective. Works on my son, dogs who are extremely stubborn, and my husband. Find your voice! Also come up with a compromise with your husband. It takes a village and although we as women are tough bitches ... More

  • Khris
    Yesterday

    Totally. I’m glad you posted this, the trail of disaster wherever they go is so exhausting! Some things I’ve tried: 1. I packed away most of the toys so there is less to clean up... heard it’s better to have less toys out anyway. 2. Take them outta the house and let them make a mess somewhere else! The yard, the playground, etc etc... let them have their “creative” outlet elsewhere. Or paint... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Monday

Forming a positive relationship with the mother of my boyfriends children.

For starters I have no children of my own. However I have been in the children’s life for 8 months and in a relationship with their father for a year and a half. I feel like I’ve exhausted avenues over and over. While we may not agree on her actions as a person always, I’ve never not respected their mother as such. I’ve tried multiple times to have communication with her numerous times and she ... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    Just out of curiosity, why do you need to talk to her? I honestly feel like there’s no real reason for you to be reaching out and trying to have some sort of relationship with her. I would be friendly, but you don’t need to be friends. Your boyfriend is really the only person that needs to be maintaining some sort of cordial relationship with her so that they can co-parent effectively. It’s p... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    The main communication I feel is needed is that from time to time she needs someone to watch them. Instead of being able to speak/ text me she needs to triangulate the conversation. As far as the relationship I’m not asking to be best friends just a level of respect that eventually trickles down. I feel that if respect isn’t important to her she won’t feel the need to enforce respect with the c... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Sunday

When/How to have the "talk"

You know, the "hey can you please not get involved the way you do when I am disciplining this child?" talk with your in laws. I am finding that everytime I try to discipline my 2 year old at my in-laws, they get involved in a way that undos everything I just did or makes him think that certain behaviors or things to say are ok. For example, I will have a talk with him and put him in t... More

  • Katie
    Monday

    Address it in the moment. I found that if u try to do it later they think you’re “overreacting” or “it wasn’t that bad”. Just nip it at the bud. I calmly say, “no it is not acceptable and this is my child and I will address it.” And just say it on repeat until it sinks in. I’ve sometimes repeated it four times before they bugger off.

  • Anonymous
    Yesterday

    My MIL is so overbearing! In the moment of me using my method of discipline which doesn’t involve hitting or spanking she has taken my sons hand and slapped it several times and told him he’s such a bad boy and shame on him. When this happened I simply looked at her and said we do not hit and I am handling it so please mind your business. After the second time she did it, her son had the talk... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Sunday

Best Pregnancy Tests

My husband and I are TTC... Only on Month 1. I was several days late for my period (I downloaded a tracking app and everything) so I excitedly went to Walgreens to get a pregnancy test. Man are they expensive! I got two different brands just in case and it was over 35 dollars. I was going to check Amazon to see if they have them cheaper or in bulk but what do other people do? Do some brands wor... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    Oh, wow, ok. Now I'm getting my hopes back up again.

  • Drusilla
    Tuesday

    I've heard the dollar tree ones are just as good. My husband only trusts clear blue though xD

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Sunday

Questioning my marriage

Ok so I think as the days go by I love him a bit less. Our kids are the first kids he's been around and he isnt really helpful at all. Anything that goes wrong seems to be my fault and he has a pretty short temper when it comes to our kids. All these things make me feel like I'm just floating thru life instead of enjoying it. With that being said I feel like I just put up with him inste... More

  • Anonymous
    Sunday

    Thank you for your comments! I really feel alone with my situation. I'll definitely give it some time.

  • K
    Sunday

    Yes have a heart to heart. I bet if he puts the game controller down and focuses on the kid (s), all will benefit. Video games are an escape of some sort, and I feel, addictive. Best of luck to you.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Saturday

Honestly, I have no idea what to do for father's day. Help!

My husband and I have been going through a whole lot in our marriage. He is certainly not the romantic type and honestly it hurts because that's another way we could be intimate. He didn't do really anything for me on my first mothers day or the second.. He does love me very much and wants to spend his life with me and all.. I really want to do so much for him because he is a great pers... More

  • K
    Sunday

    Soooo, can't help with fathers day, but can relate to a lot. I don't have answers (sorry) but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one. I lost my sex drive years ago. I want to see what modern medicine can do for me. I found testosterone (topically) to work a treat. Remember he is your partner, you guys are a team. Hang in there, you got this.

  • Anonymous
    Sunday

    Thanks, Father's day went well. I bought him a personalized wallet, which his was so outdated. He was happy. We also had a good time in bed, though I wasn't fully turned on and certainly not wet. It's very disappointing.. I know my system works.. Tbh I have felt something being around another guy, but of course I freaked out and cried bc I can't feel that with my husband. What a... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Friday

How do you find the energy / time to do other things?

Real talk - my husband and I both work full time and have 1-hour commutes. After our 2 year old son goes down for the day around 8or 9, my husband and I rarely have energy for anything else but sleep. This delays things like pre-school applications, home renovation planning, and buying things for the house. How do you all find the time and energy to run the house when you are so exhausted? Inte... More

  • Lana
    Monday

    I quit my previous work and took a public sector job, in which I can have sick leaves and vacation. Pay is lower but life is more manageable. It's been good but I don't have any time for myself. The only "me" time is in my car to work, so I read audio books now.

  • May-Ling
    Monday

    if you can, use vacation days for self-care and to get things done... also if you have the means to have someone regularly watch your child for 4-5 hours on the weekend, don't feel guilty about it - make it happen and use that time for leisure, chores, or exercise. you should also trade off playground time on the weekend so one person can be 'off.' my partner and i have a monthly m... More

Unreliable grandma

My mom begged & pleaded for me to move back home to get away from my abusive husband. After an unpleasant event I ended up doing so & filling for divorce. But before I moved back home, my mom tells me she will watch my son so I can still work. I asked her if that offer was still on the table when I moved back home and she says yes. She has only watched my newly 1yr old son for drs appts... More

  • Claire
    Tuesday

    That's not very much money for childcare. I think it's hard to have family watch your kids regularly because of issues like this. Hopefully you can work out a better arrangement soon. Perhaps it would be better if you had set days and times she is watching him on a weekly basis so it's more convenient for her and your job interview can be during that time.

Anonymous posted in Child's Health Jun 14

Sick baby, overreacting parent

My husband overreacts when our son gets sick. It’s stressful enough dealing with a sick toddler but he just badgers me about the what, who, where, when, why and how. What does he have? Where did he get it from? When did this happen? Why did you let it happen? How did it happen? Freaks out and tries to get me to take him to the ER.. gets mad at me for exposing him to something, lectures me to ke... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14

    Funny thing is that I’m more of a germaphobe than my husband. I was on him a lot about washing his hands before handling the baby or anything to do with the baby during the first couple of months. He told me he got sick a lot as a kid and he believes that because of that he doesn’t get as sick often as an adult. I used that to try to reason with him asking if that’s not what he wants for his ow... More

  • Ana
    Jun 14

    Yes my husband overreacts for everything. "I picked her up her bones cracked that's not good" "she's been sick twice since ahe was born (10months) that's not good" " she's coughing, that's not good, could it be TB?" Last week I told him he can not say "that's not good" anymore unless he has a valid and supported medical reason. So... More

“Advanced Maternal Age”

I’m 37 and have decided to try for a second child (my first is six). Anyone care to share their experience with being “advanced maternal age”?

  • Claire
    Monday

    I think just more tiring and more body aches/pains. There are some more risks of certain things, but most people have perfectly healthy pregnancies and more monitoring.

  • Maggie
    Monday

    Like others here, I had #1 at 38 and #2 at 40. No problems related to my age. But I do worry that the age will have more of an impact in 10 or 20 years.

Women Won't Achieve Equality In The Professional World Until Dads Achieve Equality As Parents

I wrote an op-ed about my family’s experience with my husband taking on the primary caretaker role. Happy (early) Father’s Day to all the awesome dads out there. https://www.refinery29.com/2018/06/201868/sara-mauskopf-winnie-fathers-day

  • K
    Sunday

    Sara, THANK YOU !!!!! SAHF do need to be included in play groups and not frowned upon at the park. My husband complains about this as he is our child's primary care giver and does a full on fantastic job!

  • Lucy Kent
    Monday

    I like this article and I don't. While it's wonderful to see the roles reversed to create a happy family, I have to agree with Tara in that women and men celebrate these sahd providing excellent support to their family, while they expect the same sahm with very little recognition. In the article, she talks about, after her husband stepping into the more domestic role, suddenly feeling ... More

My husband doesn't understand me.

I'm a SAHM and he works full time. I ask him to do something simple (well not that simple for him) like give our 2 year old a bath and he says no, I didn't give him enough notice. When I ask him to please sweep the living room floor instead, while I do the bath (thinking this will save some time and we can both get to bed at the same time after my son goes to bed) he says he will sweep ... More

  • Mimi
    Yesterday

    I can't understand how anybody thinks being a stay at home mom is "not a real job", or that it's somehow an easy job. I work full time and when I was on maternity leave or anytime I had the chance to take a few days off to spend time alone with my son, it was so much more work than what I actually do at work. At work, I can take breaks, go to the bathroom by myself, rely on se... More

  • Tara
    5h ago

    Thank you for the support, and validation @mimi and Kirsty

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