Relationships

This just in — parents need friends their own age too. Fight the isolation of parenthood by staying connected with your family & friends.

Discuss and share insights about nurturing and navigating your adult relationships, from your spouse to your in-laws to your friends and family.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Friday

RELATIONSHIPS! HELP!

After you argue with your significant other... do you say sorry to eachother? Go into separate rooms? Leave the house or act like it never happened? How long does it take for that to happen? Do you stay mad for long?

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    My husband and I argue. It has varied in levels of intensity thus handled differently. Most small arguements we'll brush off or talk it thru within hours or by the next day. The longer ones we tend to cool off in different rooms. There has been one extreme instance where before we even talked about the situation, I needed time to think to myself. Long story short, he admitted almost cheat... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    Wow. Thank you so much! I'm sorry you had to go through that 😔 no woman should ever have to hear those words! You're a strong being! Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Friday

MIL living in the 70s/vent

I just need to vent somewhere, and this is the only place to do so because I don’t want to tell my husband because it is indeed his mother. I can’t tell my parents because they will be furious and cause more drama. And I can’t tell my friends because that would be like dissing my own family. Just as a background. My hubby and I were born and raised in Asia and have in laws that are a bit more... More

Anonymous posted in Babies Thursday

Ugh worst nightmare - baby turned away from me and into MIL arms

My MIL triggered me during my maternity leave when I asked to hold my baby (I let her/she took my baby from me as soon as I was done nursing) and the look on her face said it all. Her face said “wait, what? You want to hold your own child? How dare you ask that”. Before I even married my husband, she said multiple times “I’m going to spoil your child so much they won’t want to go home with you... More

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    Fwiw I pay her to manage the expectations because I know grandparents think they know best but I am mom, not them! And thank you alll!!!!

  • Jenn
    Friday

    Baby isn't turning away from you because she loves, or even likes your MIL more. My LO does that at day care and I know that she doesn't like her teachers more than me (or at least I hope not lol). I've come to realize that it has to do with the transition from day care to home. She is excited to see me, but has been at day care all day so that is where her mind is at. Once we get h... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Trouble with in-laws

So tonight my husband went to his dads house to have dinner, i ended up staying home since i wasn’t feeling too great. I told him to take our daughter with him since I know my FIL loves to see her. So about an hour and a half they come back home and i ask him how dinner was. He says it was great! And that his grandma was there as well. He also mentioned that they gave our daughter those yogurt ... More

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    @Jennifer if anyone ever fed my baby coffee i would lose it!! what is with in-laws and giving babies things without parental consent? it’s ridiculous.

  • Sarah
    Friday

    We finally had to send out an email listing foods that were and were not age appropriate. They don’t feed them maliciously but it is very infuriating. Maybe work with your husband on crafting an email so it’s in writing and then have him be the one to send it so they know you are a team.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 10

Going out

How often is it reasonable to go out and stay out? How do you compromise? I don’t mind the going out part, it’s just staying out all night that bothers me when we have two babies. Or is this normal? Are parents still clubbing and getting drunk on a weekly basis till 3-4 am? (Not judging other parents just the jerk who’s left me to look after our kids alone)

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    The thing is it’s mainly his family telling him to go out with them. Either his mom, sister or her fiancé and sometimes his friends.. he works at a bar too so sometimes he gets drinks there.. they think it’s okay for parents to have their alone time. Which sure if you want me time then okay. I don’t mind him going out it’s the staying out part that really bugs me but he says he couldn’t get a r... More

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    He's an adult, time to use his words. And it doesn't matter what they think.it matters what you and him think as two parents. If he cant manage to ask for a ride then he shouldn't be out. It's not fair to you.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Out of town or state trip with grandparent

This was an argument for me and dh today and I was just wondering how other people view it. Both my mom and mil have asked to take my one year old out of state (without us/me) and I have said no to both. My husband is upset I said no to his mom. So fellow parents what’s your opinion on it? Out of town vs out of state. Or overnights with either your parent of SO’s parent/in law. At what age? Etc.

  • Juliana
    Jun 11

    I have a 9 month old and she’s spend the night and weekends at my moms and my MIL. I trust them both equally. However, at such a young age, I would not allow either one of them to take my kid out of state. It would be hard for me to reach the baby if there should be an emergency. I do have 2 older boys and they have traveled out of state and country with their grandparents.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 12

    I let MIL have them overnight finally one day and my one yr old stayed up till 5 crying and not once did they call us, I reasoned it with they probably didn’t wanna bug us but they should’ve. My mom at least face times when lo gets upset and starts to say mama or da and if she isn’t calm tell us to come get them if we want.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 10

Mental Load

I’m sure a lot of you have read about the “mental load” of being a mom. I feel this everyday. My Husband and I both work full time and although he does help a lot with the kids and has certain chores he does. I still feel like it’s a fraction of what I do. He doesn’t see the messes - he doesn’t understand that the kids can’t live on chicken nuggets. He doesn’t buy the car seats. What’s worse if... More

  • B
    Jun 11

    My husband and I went through this exact thing when my daughter was an infant. We decided he was going to take set jobs and they were his without me reminding, but he’d do them. When I pointed out that having to remind still puts part of the burden on me, he got it. So he washes ALL the dishes/bottles/pump parts daily. He folds the laundry. He does bathtime solo. And we split the cleaning and c... More

  • Elle
    Jun 12

    Google Love languages. Each of you take it. Then discuss each other's results.

I dont trust my bf mom to be alone with my baby.. Any suggestions???

My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is now 4 months old, I do not trust anyone alone with my baby except my mom/ family. I’m a first time mom & I breastfeed my daughter. My boyfriend’s mom keeps pushing for alone time with my daughter, Which i do go in and out of the room but to ana extent. We have gone to his house and I noticed this calendar in the kitchen and his mom will be charting ... More

  • anonymous.,_
    Saturday

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Couldn’t have said it any better! Speaking the truth thank you so much. This definitely helped! Made me realize that “mama bear mode” is only normal, love this!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 02

Dating my husband?

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. After some health issues and now having our little girl, I feel as though our marriage has lost its spark. I love my husband and have tried to talk to him about this and inevitably, I always feel bad for bringing it up... He doesn’t really like to talk about his feelings and it seems as though he doesn’t often like to open up to me like he used t... More

  • Keven
    Jun 09

    Get him the book “Dating your wife” by Justin buzzard.

  • Sara
    Sunday

    We designate a weeknight (if it’s weekends, it always seems to get pushed) as “date night”. Every week. We do Thursdays. We don’t always go out and it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but that night after our son goes to bed is just for us (no talking about stuff that needs to get done, etc.). We also have a book of questions from the guy who wrote The Five Love Languages, I think it is calle... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 01

TV and husband

Husbands first thing is turn on tv for the toddler. I keep telling him in a nice way and even angry way that he can't do that. That we need time limit and discipline. And then he always gets upset and storms out and says fine do it your way. Im so tired guys. Today i mentioned that maybe ill just never do screen time so whenever sons time with him is t.v. time and thatll be enough. And of ... More

  • Raji
    Jun 03

    I just straight up tell my husband tv isn’t an option all the time. That it isn’t good for her. He usually reads to her, play with a ball, go for a walk etc. fathers can do so much with their kiddos especially now tat the weather is nice.

  • Natasha
    Jun 09

    My husband resorts to tv first as well and it makes me frustrated. I just try to overcompensate by making sure we do lots of other non tv related activities in the other time when it’s just us so that he doesn’t get too attached to screens and tv time.

Anonymous posted in Behavior May 31

I’m so tired of fighting with my 3 year old every time we go out to eat

I used to love going out to restaurants with my family but now I hate it! I never want to go anywhere to sit down and eat because yes miserable for me and my son cause he doesn’t want to eat anything so the whole time we’re out is spent with me trying to get him to try something or trying to keep him entertained so he doesn’t get bored and upset I hate it! I don’t get to eat I get anxiety and g... More

  • Gean
    Jun 06

    From reading these I guess Im the only one that had a mother that said, "If you dont like what I cooked, you can go with out"! I realize that that is harder when you go out, because there might be a scene. But trust me, The more you do it at home, the sooner the point will be made and understood. This is first hand experience here.

  • Nana
    Jun 08

    Make sure meal times at home are scheduled. Same rules go for restaurant behavior as home. Set the timer at home he doesn’t get up till the timer goes off. If you make food a stress he will also have anxiety over food. Relax enjoy the meal and conversation. Offer foods but don’t make it a battle.

Jade posted in Adoption May 31

Karli, a Sesame Street character in foster care

Did anyone hear about this? So great to see some representation of non-traditional home life on TV. Hopefully, this will open up some dialogue and help to remove some of the stigmas associated with kids in the foster care system. Yay Sesame Street! 🙌🏼 https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/05/20/entertainment/sesame-street-karli-foster-care/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ca%2F

  • Junoii
    Jun 01

    Yes , I thought it was great ! Difinitely choked me up a bit. I wish people had more conversations about foster care and adoption so the stigma would go away

  • Angie
    Jun 03

    AND they named a street in NY Sesame Street the other day! Love SS and Mr Rogers!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership May 30

Is my husband a big baby when he is sick?

I felt bad and inconsiderate but is it okay for me to be fed up when my husband is acting like a big baby when he is “sick?” He had a tooth infection and got 1 wisdom tooth pulled. He is still in pain, which I completely understand and feel bad for him, but what I can’t stand is him wining and making pouting faces. “In sickness and in health” so how can I better deal with this. Anyone else ”cod... More

  • Anonymous
    May 30

    My husband thinks he’s on his death bed for every little sickness he has. So he whines a lot and asks me 100x a day if he should go to the ER. But nothing to the point of baby talk, kisses on the forehead and coddling. If it got to that point and I’m taking care of a toddler on top of all that then I would just grab our son and leave for a few days until he gets better lol. But yeah... he’s a... More

  • Anonymous
    May 30

    My husband is the opposite (super hardass, high pain tolerance, etc.). However, I'm the big baby when it comes to being sick. I so want him to wait on me hand and foot; he knows it and he won't. He'll oblige if I ask for a nap but he doesn't "take care" of me with normal illnesses (mastitis and kidney stones were different). I get pissed off in the moment but I get ove... More

Am I wrong to get mad?

Okay so I'm 19 my bf is 22 almost 23 we have a 3month old together but he barely dose things with him only if I say to watch him while I got to the bathroom or if I ask he rarely does anything if I dont say something he works rn I dont we are trying to save money so I stay at home with my baby boy all day and take care of him at night I still brestfeed but when I ask him to do something he ... More

  • Anonymous
    May 29

    You should have a discussion about raising the child together and that means he needs to do his job as a father. Feed, burp, change, hold, rock, comfortably and anything else that needs done. He should also be doing the house work; you can split that up. At first the baby might not the way dad does things but with time the way his dad does things will be comforting for him. It’s all about how y... More

All inclusive holiday

Looking for any recommendations for an all inclusive holiday! Looking for a week away where kids can have their own time (1yr old & 4 yr old) and my husband and I can have some time alone.. with wine.

  • Cathy
    May 29

    I was going to suggest a cruise too. There’s a Facebook page called Disney Cruise Line Junkies and there’s like, 80,000 people on it. You can get all sorts of advice. We’ve never been but people LOVE it.

  • T
    May 30

    I’m not sure your 1yo will be allowed at the kids clubs on cruises. I thought most started at 3yo & potty trained to be left at inclusive resorts...

Trust issues. Am I over reacting or no?

Heya lovely people. So I’m a couple of weeks away from having my first child and I have major trust issues with my partners family. I come from a very strong minded woman based family, and my partners family is more the man is the more important role. I’ve had major issues with his family based on different views and how things should be. His family have never liked me based on this. It’s ev... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 01

    I don’t know think you are overreacting; if they can’t be nice to you, how they going to treat your kiddo. You are the mother and it should be how you want it to be regarding your kiddo. She would be to young to be spending the night at grandmas; as they interact with her while you are there, you can change your mind. Since, you said your partner’s family views males as more important; how woul... More

Anonymous posted in Holidays May 25

Spouse does not enjoy holidays

Does anyone else deal with this? When we first met he seemed to be interested in holidays, bdays, bbqs, etc. Now he will use any excuse to avoid them and even on Christmas morning, Easter morning he just lays in bed. Feeling alone and I don’t want to be miserable and miss out on all of these sweet memories with my little ones, but I feel like he makes my holidays miserable since he doesn’t enjo... More

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    He may not like holidays but not everything is about him. I'd imagine it makes it hard for the kids to enjoy the holidays when you have that negative energy lurking around.

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    He never can see that he makes everything about him. Literally every decision has been about whats best for him and its true the kids don’t enjoy the holidays as much. I may have to think about leaving but that’s not ideal either.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership May 24

Help husband believe in himself

So my husband is in the military. He’s a nuke. So his job can be stressful. Sometimes he finds himself down in the dumps and not motivated and feeling bad about himself. I’m worried about him since he’s not here( out at sea) How can I help motivate him? What can I do to make sure he knows that he is great and everything when we can only talk via email. My heart just aches for him Bc it’s not ... More

  • Samuel
    May 28

    He need to start reading about stoicism. It has been extremely helpful to many men in the military.

  • Samuel
    May 28

    Also, suggest to him to look into the Order of Man podcasts

What do I do if I’ve tried everything and my partner still complains about having to stay with baby!

Partner works full time I work 14-16 hrs a week. The days I work I have a babysitter who stays for a few hours until he gets home. He stays maybe 4 hrs alone with him if not less. He always complains about having to stay with baby because he is tired. Last week was the last time I lost my nerve. I put the baby to sleep and I went to the store for formula (mind you it was to get formula I was ... More

  • First time mommy
    May 24

    It’s so unfair that all responsibilities suddenly fall on us woman it actually makes me feel as if I have a grown up son. I hope and wish things get better for you. I don’t want to keep nagging about this but I am done bending over backwards for someone who isn’t responsible. Stay strong for your baby one day it will all turn out great! Sending hugs !

  • Charry
    Friday

    I am currently reading/listening to How not to hate you f* husband after kids.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership May 20

Husband is so negative

My husband gets In these moods every week or so where he gets irritated over anything and everything. Last night he took over dinner because I wasn’t making it right. If I did this to him he would be pissed at me. I let him take over and then he follows me around complaining and scolding me in front of the kids. Other nights I ask him to watch dinner so I can watch the kids and he gets n... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 09

    @samuel, he works in law enforcement so I think it is the opposite. He controls everything and bosses everyone around then gets home and wants to control all of us. He went to 2 therapy sessions and wouldn’t read what the counselor gave us. His work schedule makes it nearly impossible to attend therapy.

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    RECORD HIM! Then show him later when he says you're being a drama queen. The tell him counseling or you have to leave the home until you change! YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!

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