Relationships

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Discuss and share insights about nurturing and navigating your adult relationships, from your spouse to your in-laws to your friends and family.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Wednesday

Room share toddler & infant?

Our almost 6 week old baby has just started sleeping large chunks (roughly 5-7 hrs from start of final evening feed to “middle-of-the-night feed). We only have enough room to have our 21 month old and baby share. Is this a good enough stretch or should we wait a bit longer? Baby currently sleeps in a pack n play in our room, but we have a mini crib already set up with the toddler bed (it’s j... More

  • Kieli
    Wednesday

    I would wait. My second daughter was doing the same thing for a while, sleeping almost all night! Then went through a horrible sleep regression and woke up every hour for at least a month straight. I did move her into her sisters room about a month ago, and she is doing great again. Waking 1-2 times a night

  • Rebecca
    Thursday

    Try it for a night or two. We had a similar situation. A lot of nights the toddler slept through the baby waking. We also used white noise all the time. Helps reduce waking up. I put the baby down first. Read stories to the older in our room. Then put toddler down only tucking her in in tree dark. If they have to get use to sleeping in the same room I would start earlier. So it becomes normal.

Only hearing baby at night and not preggo wife.

Hey all, I’m looking for some advice on how to hear both my wife and my kids during the night while I’m sleeping. While my wife was pregnant with our first child I heard her instantly when she needed help turning or anything else; but now with our first son born and in the room in his crib and she’s pregnant with our second child (third trimester) it seems I only hear him stirring in the night... More

  • anonymous mom
    Wednesday

    Does she hear you every time you whisper or move? Probably not. Does she hear your son every time he moves or cries? More likely. We are wired to hear our babies but our spouses? Not so much. I’m usually 100% all in on supporting pregnant moms but I think your wife needs to be more understanding...

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Feb 14

Has anyone ever thought about leaving/splitting with your spouse?

I’ve tried to make it work but I’m not happy, we mainly just got together because I got pregnant. There’s no romance, terrible communication, I feel like he doesn’t really care. I really wanted it to work for the kids but I just want more, I know it’s selfish. I just feel like there’s nothing else I can do.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 15

    Sometimes parents can be better parents when they’re separated. You are their role models... so think about it this way, is this how you want to show your kid what a healthy relationship, marriage and love is? Some things to consider too... Depending on how old your child is, there may be some effects on them. I have a friend going through a divorce and it’s affecting their kindergartener. He... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Feb 13

SAHM, does your SO remind you how you’re not working/bring home a paycheck?

It seems like anytime we argue my SO brings it up. How I can’t spend money. Or paying the bills. Etc. it just hurts my pride so much, I used to work and did whatever I wanted with my money, Now with kids, we thought it’d be better for me to stay home and watch them so we won’t have to pay for daycare.

  • Ashleigh
    Today

    This is so hard! And I have so many thoughts on this! There is a website that calculates what a stay at home parent would earn if they were paid for all services provided - typically over $100K! What you are doing is so valuable, and exhausting! I don't know if this is possible in your situation, but maybe try going out of town on his time off. I'm guessing you might not actually get ... More

  • Anonymous
    5h ago

    He won’t let me put them in daycare either lol, he doesn’t trust strangers to watch our kids and I get that. And the kids behave so much better for him! 😩 they cling to me 24/7

My two year old just figured out how to open doors and now won't stay in her room at night/for naps.

My toddler has always been an excellent (though light) sleeper. No problem self-soothing, etc... However she recently learned how to open doors and has been coming out of her room multiple times when she is supposed to be sleeping. We have an ok-to-wake clock and she does seem to understand the concept but either stays awake staring at it waiting for it to change or totally disregards it. We al... More

  • anonymous mom
    Feb 10

    A baby gate or one of those door handle safety covers that make it hard for them to open should be okay. It’s so hard when they start opening doors, what’s next!? Lol. Also, I’m sure you’ve already done so but make sure all your doors that go outside have a lock that’s too high to reach on them....when my daughter learned to open our doors to the outside I was so scared! We got safety locks... More

  • Leslie C.
    check_circleChild Care Provider Feb 12

    My Granddaughter was doing the same thing, so what worked for my daughter was that she turned the door knob around with the lock on the outside, and locked it from the outside. That way my granddaughter could not get out! It worked!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Feb 06

Is one parent always the planner?

Just curious about the dynamics of other people’s relationships with their SO. I’m a sahm so I end up doing most of the planning on a day to day basis, daily decisions... which is fine and understandable to me. My son is 3 years old now and I have had the same conversation with my husband about this so many times. As far as date nights, family outings and anniversaries, I have done all the pl... More

  • Aye
    Feb 09

    Yes! Everything from what we’re having for dinner to what we’re gonna do and go even out to eat. Even when his family texts to do stuff he rarely responds and it’s me responding. Birthdays too. Whenever I ask him he gets annoyed. Sometimes it’ll be nice not to plan things. But when he does do it, it turns out a mess 🤦🏾‍♀️ so he leaves it to me

  • Tash
    Feb 13

    My husband is the planner and plans everything (restaurant for date nights, day trip ideas, weekend away ideas and hotels, most vacation planning, all grocery shopping). Before I met him, I was often the planner in my relationships (I'm a great planner too!) but my husband is in a different league and if I pick something, I know it likely wont be as good as what he picks / organizes. I st... More

At how many days late is HCG detected in blood?

I'm 11 days late (as of today), my cycles are 28 days long. I've had all pregnancy symptoms so doctor performed blood serum test despite the fact that I had tubal ligation surgery 14 yrs ago. Has anyone heard of anyone getting pregnant after tubal ligation? Doctor said I was still young for menopause (I just turned 43) and none of the symptoms indicated menopause . I'm so confused.... More

Partner wont help with our baby

gave birth 5 months ago now and my fiance is not helping me atol. He loses his temper so fast when she cries at night and ends up giving her back to me and storming out of the room. Ever since I had her, i've not once had a full nights sleep unless my mum takes her overnight. I know thats part of parenthood but he should help me? He sleeps everynight and then sleeps in until 12ish every day... More

  • Jessica
    Feb 05

    I have no advice from personal experience, but therapy might be the best route if you want to work through it all together. I pray that you find happiness as a family soon 💕

Boy name

My husband and I are having a hard time deciding on which name looks and sounds better for our little boy due in a couple of weeks. Brannen Price Turner Or Brandt Price Turner

  • Chris
    Feb 01

    I like Brandt. I feel like Brannen will be commonly heard as “Brandon” leading to constant corrections.

  • Tiana
    Feb 01

    Brandt for sure

Parenting with Pain/Injury/Chronic Illness

To preface, I don't have kids of my own yet. But I am at the stage of life (late 20's/early 30's) when I'm beginning to seriously consider starting a family. One thing that I have always been cautious about is a chronic injury that I have. As a teenager, I was a gymnast/diver and ruptured several discs in my lumbar spine that have left me with chronic pain. I have always been ne... More

  • Gen
    Jan 30

    I have degenerative joint disease and spinal stenosis in my neck and lumbar spine. I do PT once a week and strength training once a week. I have chronic pain, and two children. The first pregnancy wasn’t too bad, but there were definitely some issues after. I had dequirvain’s thumb for a while after, but PT helped that. But my back pain wasn’t any worse. The second pregnancy was harder, I had... More

  • Karen
    Jan 30

    I have an autoimmune disease with inflammation symptoms, as well as a hemangioma on my leg that makes walking or bending my legs hard sometimes. Having a kid is hard with chronic pain and low stamina, but it also pushes to me to be active when I might otherwise be sedentary. It’s a daily struggle, but in the long term for me, having a child is going to help me live a healthier, longer, fuller l... More

Caroline posted in In-Laws Jan 25

Separation/ vacation with 3 YO

Need some help. My husband and I are separating. We live far away from our families (different countries) so I am trying to plan our next vacation (my daughter and I) with my family but don’t know what to do with my in laws. Don’t really want to stay with them...

  • Anonymous
    Jan 27

    If they don’t know and you’re not ready to tell them, you don’t have to. Just when you are ready to tell them about the separation, you can explain to them that you still like them and want them in your child’s life but need more time on your own to process and figure everything out. I’m sure they will understand this isn’t something easy that you are going through.

  • anonymous mom
    Jan 31

    Sorry you’re going through this. I would let your daughters grandparents know you’re going to be in the country and they can come visit but I wouldn’t even consider staying with them...if at some point your ex takes your daughter on vacation would he want to stay at your parents?

Rachel posted in Behavior Jan 25

When can kids start having baths independently without supervision?

  • Pot Papi
    Jan 25

    My daughter has been talking bubble baths alone since 2yo. But if u taking about actual cleaning themselves it would be when they have learned how to do it all so around 5-6

  • Kieli
    Jan 26

    I can sit and see my daughter (2) from my rocking chair to the bath room, so I wash her the let her play while I can spy on her lol. She helps me while cleaning her body and hair, but I don’t think she’s ready to do it by herself. Like the above post, about 5 years old is when I think they can fully understand the concept of getting all the soap off and such.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jan 24

Staying at in-laws

So Im staying with my in-laws for 4 weeks and then my husband (whose is traveling for this time) will join us for another 2 weeks before we get back home. My (only) toddler is regressing in every aspect in the past one week and its driving me up the wall (potty training, bed time routines, eating habits etc and its just been 10 days). There is a 6 hr time difference and he is a bit jet lagged. ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 25

    It sounds like some of the frustration towards your in laws is being taken out on your son. When you get back home it will be a whole new battle. You need to set strict boundaries with his grandparents. <

  • Po
    Jan 25

    The child’s behavior sounds familiar. My child is doing the same thing since we have recently travelled. I just find things to distract her when she gets restless. Start discussing her favourite things, which gets her attention. Then ask questions like are you tired? Do you want to go to the toilet? Are you hungry? What do you need help with and whom do you want to help you. It’s a lot of work.... More

Samm posted in Behavior Jan 22

Respect

My children absolutely don't respect their things, no matter how cheap or expensive. My 11 year old sons tablet has an absolutely smashed screen and I have told him that if he wants nicer things to take care of and cherish them. But to no avail he still destroys his things along with his 8 year old brother. And it's rubbing off to their 4 year old sister. None of them care for their things.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 24

    I agree. Or what might be even more impactful is if they have any money saved or little jobs, to show them how much work it is to pay off the fix. Make as real world as possible. The reason we care for our high cost items is because we know how much work we have to do to pay for them. So recreate that for them. Don’t sugarcoat it

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 22

Hubby not close to his family

Normally we hear of wives not getting along with hubby's family, but mine is different problem.. I came from a close knit family, who gets along pretty well with my parents and siblings, and always look forward to gatherings and celebrations with my family. I'm also very lucky to be quite close/cordial to my hubby's family, very lucky to have nice parent-in-laws and sis/bro-in-laws... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 23

    Dear anonymous mom: thank you so much for your insight! I just wanna know, is your husband angry with you when u 'dug out' the truth? My husband didn't want to tell me at all, I'm so tempted to ask another family member but worried it may backfire.. How did you find out?

  • anonymous mom
    Jan 24

    My husband was not happy about talking about it. He wanted to just forget it but yeah...that isn’t gonna happen. Lol. No he wasn’t angry when he finally told me but he was NOT happy the several times I broached the subject (either directly or inadvertently) over the years and got shut down. One thing I would do is consider asking your husband in other ways...maybe something like, “do you have... More

How to get help from my husband

my baby is now 9 days old and my husband still has only changed 2-3 diapers. he doesn’t do any house work. and we have 2 dogs that he used to take care of but now it has fallen on my shoulders as well. he doesn’t work and all he does is play video games all day long and sleep throughout the night while all my life is is baby. I feed her, change her, take care of the dogs, do the house work and ... More

  • Kristin
    Jan 19

    Leave the house during the day and leave the baby with him. Go sleep somewhere or have time to yourself. Then he will have to see what you do and hopefully want to help you more. I had to leave the house for my husband to do more with the baby.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 18

Unacceptable behavior as a father?

My SO is going through a lot with his job. Last night he said he wanted to visit his parents and talk to his dad about it. Around 10:30 I get a text saying “going to bed, goodnight”. No call, didn’t discuss he was going to sleep there. This morning I text and call him and no answer. I texted his parents asking if he’s coming home and this is unacceptable for a grown man and he should be home wi... More

  • Kieli
    Jan 18

    Was he this way when you guys got married? In regards to him not helping with the kids, my husband is the same way. He works hard, physically and mentally hard jobs all week. As a SAHM, I take care of our daughters’ needs. He helps some on the weekends but not much. It sounds to me, if you have expressed your concerns and he is not wanting to change, you have 2 options. 1, work with what you go... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Jan 09

Need insights on sibling age gap???

My toddler just turned 2 but I’ve been yearning more to have a baby as each day passed & as my toddler is becoming less of a baby. My husband & I do want a 2nd baby but there were so many things that had happened recently & so many still to look forward to. We just moved to a new city with his new job & we’re saving up hopeful to afford our 1st home. But we’re both in our 30s, I... More

  • EmmaD
    Jan 16

    If you are yearning then go for it, you need to be motivated. I think that’s the bottom line. The rest will be solved. I myself have a 3 year old daughter and still waiting for the yearning feeling to provide her with a sibling but right now my mind says: ”no way, not all over again from scratch” im finally now starting to feel like an independant person again. But everytime she plays with her ... More

  • CJN
    Jan 17

    I'm in the same situation. My son is 2 and we want to move to a bigger home ( preferably build) with that takes a long time. BUT I don't want to go around that it's just one of those big changes where moving while pregnant or with NB will be chaotic but with anything you manage to get through it. I say follow your heart and do what will make you happy.

Trust in relationships

My husband and I have always been immature when it comes to trust. I’ve been working on it so hard this last year, and I’ve come a long way. Fast forward to the last few months, and idk if it’s in my head or these are red flags but here we go: my husband started talking to old girl “friends”, one he slept with once before but nothing more than that. He deleted their conversation, when I asked a... More

  • Christy
    Jan 08

    You are very smart, I want you to know that. You are clearly seeing all the signs and doing your very best. Don't let him fool you into thinking less of yourself. Ask him if he wants to be in this marriage? Is he happy in the marriage? Also convey your feelings if he is capable and open to listening to them. Then ask if he wants to make this marriage work? He has to to meet you half way. Y... More

  • Destin
    Sunday

    No matter if there is anything going on or not, the fact that he is saying he doesn’t care and that it’s your problem seems like the biggest issue of it all...even if there isn’t anything more to it, your feelings are ALWAYS valid, as are his! And he should listen to you are validate your feelings. Emotions are emotions no matter what and he should care about how you are feeling and never want ... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Jan 01

Spouse disagreement ..

Hey everyone I'm new here and looking for some advice on a disagreement that my boyfriend & I are having about surrogacy I don't know why but I've been interested in surrogacy since I was about 18/19 (I'm 21 now) but you have to be a parent of atleast 1 child (I didn't have any children then) but last July on the 10th I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy... So re... More

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