Relationships

This just in — parents need friends their own age too. Fight the isolation of parenthood by staying connected with your family & friends.

Discuss and share insights about nurturing and navigating your adult relationships, from your spouse to your in-laws to your friends and family.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Tuesday

Boundaries

I’m struggling with holding my tongue with my mother in law right now. I thought our head count for our child’s first birthday party was done until I get one of our invites “return to sender” with her handwriting on it. SHE SENT OUT OUR INVITES to people and we didn’t even know but I’m curious as to how she got her hands on them. I was already ordering food and cake with the head count I alread... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    Yes ... she doesn’t listen to him or her other son. She does what she wants because everyone in her life has catered to her whims but I don’t. I wasn’t raised that way

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    Who did she invite? Her own friends? I agree with first poster! Don’t cater to this people. Maybe it will be awkward for you at the party, but it will send her a message. Additionally, set boundaries AND consequences if she doesn’t respect them. That would drive me insane! My mom is bad... but not like that.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Tuesday

My BIL is living with us and it’s a nightmare.

My brother in law has been living with us for about 3 months now and he is an absolute horror to live with. Not only does he play his music at all times of the day while my 3mo is trying to nap/sleep, he NEVER cleans up after himself even though I’ve asked him (nicely) repeatedly to do so. He just recently blew up at me for leaving ONE dirty pan on the stove because he was trying to make dinner... More

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    I had a similar issue where I had both my mother and father I law living with us. I did all the cooking cleaning plus taking care of the kids and my mother in law did not lift a finger. She always had her tv loud while I was trying to get my children down for a nap or at night. It was horrific! I kept quiet for years because “they weren’t my parents” but they disregarded everything my husband... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Tuesday

Rant: Easter family issues

My family gets together every Easter for lunch at my mother’s. We basically get together for the main holidays and every few months for birthdays. This year, my sister’s kids were going to be at their dad’s. Their dad is now letting the kids go with my sister on Easter. Rather than going to my mom’s, they are going to her boyfriend’s family get together and skipping my mom’s. My sist... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    It sounds like the issue is her boyfriend? Is it just him that doesn’t want to go to your family stuff or do you think it’s her too? My husband isn’t a fan of my family gatherings... my family knows it and they don’t really bring it up to me anymore because they know it’s a sensitive topic. If anything, they’ll just say “hey, we really miss having you at these events. What can we change so you ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Monday

I’m at SAHM and i’m scared I’m starting to resent my husband

He always talks about how he wants more kids but hardly helps out with the one we have. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re both new parents and he’s nervous but he hardly spends any time with her. He’s also super messy so i’m always cleaning and trying to get him to pick up after himself. And at the same time he complains that the house is too clean!!! We have a 7.5 month old so she’s always pu... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    @Amanda I’ll talk to him about it, it’s worth a shot. And the separation anxiety isn’t extremely bad I just worry about my daughter a lot. I trust my mom with her I just have a certain way of doing things to keep my daughter happy and i worry other people don’t listen to me when they babysit her

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    Hi - I can really relate to this as my husband is really messy too! I’ve realized that often it’s a communication issue as well as different expectations. My partner and I have decided to communicate better and we found this app called Relish which has really helped and it’s fun too.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Monday

Shared or separate bank accounts?

My husband and I currently have a shared account, but I’m curious to what works better in your relationship/marriage? How do you separate everything?

  • Stacy
    Thursday

    Thanks, Casondra! I have never heard of that and could NOT figure out what kind of baby gear was a bj.

  • Ling
    Thursday

    We have both as well. We collectively put in a certain amount every month to cover shared expenses like mortgage, utilities, groceries, cell phones, insurance, baby stuff, but we divvy up the amount each person contributes as a percentage of total take home salary. For example, if the total amount to cover all of our bills come out to $5000 and Partner A makes $75,000/yr and Partner B makes $1... More

Alone time

This my 1st time posting. I’m a father to a 4 year and a 1 year old, ever since our kids were born they have been attached. I know kids want to spend time with their parents, but sometimes my wife and I just want quality time . Even if it’s just for a night. Any ideas on getting the kids to be more independent? I hope this doesn’t sound selfish of us

  • PK
    Monday

    Not selfish at all. How are they with a babysitter?

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    Well if they get along, have them watch a movie they like & tell the 4 yo to spend some time with his little sibling. We do that with ours but mine is 11, 7 & 2 so they help out a lot in the “entertaining” the smallest sense🤣 Sometimes it gets so stressful, I need a break.

Any women who had a C section have sex before the 6weeks?

  • Michaela
    Apr 14

    I wish I had felt that way! I would be careful or gentle because it can get infected, or even try “other ways” lol. You could always call your nurse line.

  • Karen
    Apr 14

    I did after almost 4 weeks and didn't have any problems at all. We were just very careful.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Apr 12

Almost 9 year old daughter

I am so lost with my daughter. For the past month or so she has had a horrible attitude, she is acting like a teenager. Anyone else have this experience with their daughter at this age? It seems so early.

  • K10
    Apr 14

    My 5 yr old rolls his eyes at me- says “whatever” calls me annoying. He’s 5. 5

  • Darnell
    Apr 15

    The 9 year old age is an interesting one. They’re coming into their own personalities. I would say practice patience and and maintain your stance as the parent. It’ll get better

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Apr 12

Differences in sexual desire?

My husband and I have always been a little switched from the stereotypical couple. I’m the one who constantly wants sex, and my husband doesn’t feel that it’s as important as other things in a marriage. In my personal opinion, a sexless marriage isn’t a marriage. For me, sex is a way to gauge how we are as a couple. If things are good, and we are communicating well and relatively content, we ar... More

  • Anonymous
    Apr 12

    We are the same way.. I have a higher sex drive than my husband’s. I used to get frustrated with my husband if we didn’t have sex at least twice a week. I don’t expect him to have the energy for it during his work week since he has a strenuous job. But let’s back up a bit and look back at what you said.. a “sexless marriage isn’t a marriage at all.” Are you guys not having sex at all? Sex is ... More

  • jxn8tors
    Apr 12

    Have his testosterone checked.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Apr 12

Family Gatherings

We’re a family of 4, my husband and I and our two kids. I have a big family compared to my husband. Holidays, and celebrations, etc are a big thing for us. He is always unwilling and states that he doesn’t need to go or be there. But we’re a family and we should be there together. Not just me and the kids. I understand that he doesn’t or we don’t need to go to every family event but if it is im... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    It’s also nice (and important) to spend time with just your immediate family, rather than focusing on the extended...

  • Angie
    Thursday

    Compromise. Maybe he only goes to family gatherings on holidays and birthdays. Or take turns....he skips, you skip, he skip, you skip. The ones you skip,,,,,he gets to take the kids alone and you have a break from parenting.

Annie posted in Education Apr 10

Leaving my 2 year old for nursing school

Guys I'm stuck in a huge dilemma. I live in Dallas texas with my husband and my parent live literally down the street from me. I just got accepted to Nursing school which was always my dream. Problem is, the school is in Houston Texas which is 4 hours away. It's a 2 year program. And I have to leave m 2.5 year old and husband because of his job here to go to Houston. She will spend the ... More

  • Kris
    Thursday

    Go for it Annie! This is your dream and don’t give up. This will be better for you and your family as well in the future . You can manage the all details and don’t feel that you are bad mom. You are great ! Get this done girl!

  • Jing
    Friday

    One of my husband’s friends gave birth during her residency program while her husband was working in another city four hours away. She hired a nanny and was a single mom during the week for about two years. It was extremely hard at times but they made through it. Since then she graduated from the program, reunited with her husband and had another child. I think a lot of it depends on the unique... More

Birth Control.

So i got my IUD in September of 2016 and I just took it out on the 5th of this month because my husband and I are going to start trying again..my question is how long should I be bleeding? I’m going on day 5 and I am starting to get super irritated. It’s heavy and nasty, I know that the IUD regulates my period to every other month and it was only 3 days long and now it is gone so should I expec... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Apr 09

I’m struggling, I am the mother to an extremely bright 7 year old daughter and we are fighting

I am so blessed to have the daughter I have but it seems to me she is trying to anger me. She is doing the opposite of whatever I say and seems to want to test even the most basic requests I make of her ( brush your teeth for example) I know it’s not important for me to be her friend but I don’t like this path we’re heading down and was wondering if anyone had dealt with this and how did it al... More

  • Anonymous
    Apr 10

    I recommend reading the book how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    Thanks got the audio book and scream free parenting lol

Chores

Do you make your kids do chores? Why or why not

  • Margaret
    Apr 09

    My son will be 2 next month. We don't have set "chores," but he does help around the house. He has to pick up his toys at the end of the day, he likes to feed our dog, and we even made a swiffer that's his size because he always wants to help clean the floors. My husband and I felt it's important to start having him help around the house early to instill a sense of respons... More

  • Mama
    Apr 10

    Yes we will. My hopes is that it will teach industriousness. Being helpful. Selflessness. Independence.

MIL watching baby, how to handle an awkward request for her to leave at end of day

When we first set up this plan to have both grandmothers watching my baby, I told my husband not to over commit because it will he awkward to scale back on commitments... And here we are, wanting to scale back our WEEKLY family dinners on Thursdays with his bro/his mom who watches my baby that day, to bi-weekly. I know if we wait till bro gets a job, that can be the reason to scale back to b... More

  • Michaela
    Apr 04

    You could be honest about the reason. Probably the hardest option but she might take it better than you expect her to

  • B
    Apr 05

    You also could stop thinking of these as dinner parties. Talk to them and say it’s too much. Hey brother, your week to bring the food. Hey grandma, I’m starting the crockpot you watch it.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Apr 02

How did you know you’re ready for another baby?

I’m turning 34 this year & my LO is about 15 mos (& we didn’t planned him). He’s an active (& a handful) toddler boy. But it doesn’t stop me & my hubby for wanting to have another one, plus our family & friends keep begging us for another?! We initially decided when our LO is more independent & can able to do more on his own, probably closer to 2 yrs old. But everywhere ... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Apr 03

    You sound ready! My husband and I knew when our oldest was pretty young and ended up having babies 17 months apart, and loved that so much, were three babies in and expecting a fourth this summer. I think if you both are ready to try and know you want a second, I would do it. My three barely three years apart from first to third and their bond is incredible, plus I’m overlapping sleepless night... More

Anonymous posted in Relationships Apr 02

Is it possible to still have PPD 8 years after your first kid?

Idk what it is.... I feel so disconnected from her.... I feel like such a piece of crap about our terrible relationship. She looks just like her dad (the abusive pos who we left when she was 1 and havent seen since) when shes misbehaving and just some of the things she does normally. Which as much as i try not to let it bother me it does sometimes. Im still dealing with ptsd from the trama i de... More

  • Jay
    Apr 02

    Hello and I’m sorry to hear about these challenges, however I give you a big pat on the back for reaching out and doing something about it. My biggest advice is to continue doing just that... keep asking questions. Keep seeking help. Keep searching for ways to learn what’s behind this behavior and know that it is not the behavior itself that’s the problem... When a smart girl “can’t remember” t... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Apr 01

Parenting book about work-life balance

My husband works all day then comes home and gets back online. He feels the pressure from the “always on” culture of his team, many of which are older men whose kids are grown, yet we have two young kids. Any suggestions of books that addresses this issue? (Note: I work too, but when we discuss it he takes it like a nag or that I don’t support his career.)

  • Anne
    Apr 06

    I don’t have book recs but maybe he would like the blog Fatherly? People I know in demanding jobs sometimes adopt a schedule where they block 6-8 for family time and then get back online after the kids go to bed. They even block that time on their calendar so everyone knows what they are doing. It’s really just about setting boundaries and expectations!

Marriage question

I don't understand why my husband feels cuz he works 12 hours a day he shouldn't have to do anything for the kids my kids are 18 14 + 8 and when he gets a day off of work while he wants to do is sit around the house and still wants me to do everything and then when I do want to go have me some me time he wants me to take two other kids with me.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Apr 01

Juggling baby and toddler bedtimes

My two month old is ready for her good night sleep around 7pm, but my 2 year old’s bedtime is around 8:30-9. My baby sleeps well but someone needs to be close if she starts to fuss otherwise it will take a long time to calm her back to sleep. My husband gets home with my son around 6:30pm so this means I’m often leaving right after dinner to put the baby to bed. My husband and son feel abandone... More

  • B
    Apr 02

    I’d either try to push babies bedtime back (and adjust naps and wake time to help), or get a monitor so that you can put her to sleep then go back from like 7:30-8:30 with the family.

  • Megan
    Apr 02

    We didn’t put our second in his own room until about 4 months old. So when he was that age we would have him downstairs with us til our bedtime. Either being held or in a swing. Once he was in his own room we started their bedtime routines together. We would have our toddler help put the baby to bed as part of her routine and than finish her routine. That helps keep her up a little later as she... More

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