Parenting Culture

Share and discuss all things parenting whether it's good, bad, funny, or serious.

Partner wont help with our baby

gave birth 5 months ago now and my fiance is not helping me atol. He loses his temper so fast when she cries at night and ends up giving her back to me and storming out of the room. Ever since I had her, i've not once had a full nights sleep unless my mum takes her overnight. I know thats part of parenthood but he should help me? He sleeps everynight and then sleeps in until 12ish every day... More

  • Jessica
    Feb 05

    I have no advice from personal experience, but therapy might be the best route if you want to work through it all together. I pray that you find happiness as a family soon 💕

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 28

How much time does dad spend with his kids?

How much time does the father of your child(ren) spend with them? My partner and I are raising three kids together. The older two are his from a previous marriage, but we have them most of the time. The youngest is ours together. I’m a SAHM and my partner works from home a lot of the time. His work is often slow, so he is home doing nothing all day. He rarely helps me with anything and doesn’t ... More

  • anonymous mom
    Jan 17

    Your husband needs to grow up. I have only one child and my husband does have a grown stepdaughter from his first marriage who he still maintains close contact with (and who we call my daughters sister since she’s going to otherwise be an only child). Anyway me and my husband both work but we also both pick up all the slack at home. From cooking, cleaning, and outdoor stuff to child rearing. I ... More

  • Leelee
    Jan 30

    Was this something new he picked up after you moved in together or was he always a man child who played video games in the basement? Did he spend lots of time with the older two kids before you got pregnant? Or was he always like this and you just hoped he would change once y'all's baby showed up? While the article posted has some good points. It's mainly the overlooking of bad part... More

Unsolicited parenting advice

Christmas is a time we see family members that we don't see on a daily basis. Do you get unsolicited parenting advice from these family members, because they have spent a few days with you and have witnessed some "problem" on how you raise your children? It happens a lot back in where I am from, Hong Kong. And someone told me unsolicited advice is a very Chinese thing. I wonder i... More

  • Vonda
    Dec 27

    I take it with a grain of salt. Say thank you. And move on. Because every parent is different with their kid. And every kid is different. I say the same thing when my cousin asks for my advice on my kid since she is pregnant. I tell her to take what I say with a grain of salt. You won’t use some of it. More than some cause we are doing the same parenting strategy. But still, there will be thin... More

Only child problem

So I took my 4 yo daughter to one of those jumping places. She wanted to find someone to play with and she asked a few random kids if they wanted to play, and with the exception of one younger girl, everybody said no. Poor thing, she was so heartbroken. She played with that little girl for a minute but eventually lost her. She later on was playing by herself at the playground with some balls. W... More

  • Penelope
    Dec 02

    Kids aren’t open to new kids all the time. Or they get weirded out by strangers. You’re told not to talk to strangers as kid too, and if they’re older that’s not really that unusual. She’ll most likely do jt to someone else’s kid one day. It’s life. Adults do it too. We go to the trampoline place with my 2yr old and she was 1.5 or younger at first. But we go in with her. We’re the friends. And... More

  • Aye
    Feb 11

    It’s hard, especially when people are sue easy and at places like that. If a kid gets hurt because of your kid or vice versa. And sometimes older kids think they’re more grown than they are so they don’t want to play with little kids. I was an only child till I was 6, sometimes my aunt would intervene and introduce me to new people after she talks to the parents and made it easier for me to mak... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 13, 2019

My mom criticizes me as a SAHM

It breaks my heart to admit & share that my mom does not make me feel proud of my current situation as a full time SAHM. Back story, she had me (unplanned & not yet married) at 19, then I think somewhere in between that, my parents decided to get married before I was born. But I know the full story because it’s like a bedtime story to me. At a young age, she kept reminding me of what th... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Nov 09, 2019

Mom guilt

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins, needless to say I’m exhausted and in pain. I also have a 2 year old, and lately we’ve been watching WAY more movies than I ever wanted for a two year old. I feel like we’re just surviving, I feel guilty 😞

  • courtney
    Nov 12, 2019

    i’m 34 weeks pregnant with one baby. i can’t imagine being pregnant with twins AND taking care of a 2 year old. in my opinion, what matters at the end of the day, is that your kids are loved, healthy and alive. you’re tired and in pain.. there’s no need for you to stress yourself out more than you need to. you’re doing great ❤️

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 12, 2019

    Do not feel guilty. I have 4 kids, 5 and under so I’ve been pregnant with toddlers a lot (no twins). I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that. But I look back and it was fine. The alternative was often me yelling or them crying because I was exhausted and they were toddlers. Can’t be better than tv. Positive memories is best. Good luck!!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 01, 2019

Toddler and infant stress

My wife and I have a 23 month old and a almost 2 month old. I still lose my cool when one of them are crying and causing a scene in public. My wife says that she needs a partner and to get over letting the stress get to me but I can’t do that. It feels instinctual to react. I don’t want to, but it just happens. I need to figure out a way to cope with the stress because it just causes instant an... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 06, 2019

    My first two were 17 months apart. My husband and I learned a lot then. The best way that worked for us was thinking about it scientifically. They are not trying to embarrass you or make you miserable. Their brains just aren’t there yet. They physically do not know how to process their emotions in a “civil” manner. Part of the reason you react is likely cause your exhausted, and that cuts into... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 06, 2019

    Babies are hard to deal with, sometimes, especially when you’ve got two under two. My husband used to be the same way when our two kids were babies/toddlers. Their crying or tantrums drove up his anxiety levels and he’d end up frustrated or get upset when they’d have meltdowns. What worked for him at first was stepping away for a few minutes to cool down and remove himself from the situation ... More

Anonymous posted in Mental Health Oct 31, 2019

Any parents out there with ADHD or other mental health challenges?

I feel like parenting as a person with ADHD comes with new and different experiences, and I've been wondering if any other parents have been through anything similar :)

  • HR
    Nov 07, 2019

    As a person with life-long depression & anxiety, I sometimes have a rough time (I want to be the best for my kid, I don’t think I’m being the best, then I spiral), but I feel like parenthood has helped me try harder to do more to manage myself & push myself out of my comfort zones to help him have a more ‘normal,’ loving childhood (not one where his memories are tainted with Mommy being... More

  • HR
    Nov 07, 2019

    ALSO: Anonymous’ post on the 31st reminds me to let others know that it IS possible to have a healthy baby while still taking medication during pregnancy. Definitely work with doctor on this—they can help you find something that will work while carrying if possible, then to help you readjust after birth. For example: I was on Zoloft & Lexapro. My baby was born healthy, & I was alive &am... More

3 YO Birthday Party

Hi All, looking for ideas in planning an indoor fall birthday party that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg?! Anyone else out there feel like some posts on Instagram for kids birthday parties gives them anxiety?

  • Vonda
    Sep 29, 2019

    We ordered pizza and I made a cake from scratch. Super cheap. Only had close family and friends. Used the same decorations we used last year. Easy.

  • winter
    Oct 02, 2019

    Family & Friends ! If it were up to me it would just be the 3 of us! Ha!

Guilty mom

How should I break the news to our kids that my husband and I are taking a 3-day getaway without them! They are 7 and 9.

  • Beth
    Sep 19, 2019

    Definitely what Caroline said! Focus on what they get to do! You'll miss them and if they miss you, you can always have a phone call or a FaceTime these days! Don't tease them about how nice it'll be for you guys to not see them, because that'll start to frame it like they're a burden.

  • Anays
    Sep 25, 2019

    Thank you ladies. It went super well.

Anonymous posted in Bottle Feeding Sep 15, 2019

Breastfeeding

My MIL keeps saying low key remarks about me not wanting to breastfeed my twins this winter.... I’m perfectly content in my choice and it mostly just irritates me that she isn’t, I’m not going to change my mind. Anyways- just wanted to say.... if you don’t want to breastfeed, then don’t and you’re still a bada$$ mom.

  • G
    Sep 16, 2019

    Well said!

Working part time while having a big family

My fiancé and I want 6 kids when we get married. Right now he works part time and I am currently looking for a part time job. I graduated from school over a year ago, but I’m having trouble finding work. I’m wondering if it’s even possible to be a working parent while having a big family?

  • Donna
    Sep 19, 2019

    I’m a full time working mom of 3 under 6 and I’m making it work. But I’ll admit that oftentimes, it is hard to strike a balance. Either work or family or finances takes a backseat, and they take turns. It was also really tough financially having 3 in daycare at once. For that reason, I’d say to try to space them out to have no more than 2 in full time daycare at a time.

2nd birthday party??

So my boyfriend and I are in the midst of house hunting and our little ones 2nd birthday party is coming up in two months. I'm not sure if it's the stress of life or maybe because I'm a crappy mom :/ but I have ZERO motivation to throw him a birthday party :/ Last year for his 1st birthday party, around this time I had the theme and decorations picked out! I was super excited proba... More

  • Kate
    Sep 12, 2019

    We did the party for the 1st bday and this year for 2nd we just invited family to join us at a theme park with rides. It was a no pressure thing, just something we wanted to do over the summer anyway so we made it the birthday thing. I felt like next year at 3 our daughter might be more aware of birthday parties so we thought we’d have fun but save money this year.

  • Natasha
    Sep 29, 2019

    I went all out for my daughters first birthday party. We rented a bounce house and everything! The next year for her 2nd birthday we were going to do Chuck E. Cheese but eventually went with monkey joes! They had great birthday party packs, better food, games, and fun for my little one, who (let’s face it) unfortunately will only remember from the pictures and video’s. However, my daughter, and... More

I have no patience

I have no patience! My son is seven years old and in the second grade and I find myself constantly yelling at him, sometimes even screaming and I absolutely hate it. I grew up with parents that yelled and screamed at my siblings and myself. I never wanted to be that parent. It is so incredibly frustrating to communicate with an extremely intelligent child and have them act clueless or “stupid “... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 30, 2019

    So I remember my oldest brother in a similar situation... my mom ended up hiring a tutor for him and doing a reward/punish system for his grades. Below average - something gets taken away for the summer. Average - nothing happens. Above average - he gets a treat. I remember talking to him about it once, because he had a tutor all the way until he got to high school. And he told me that he just ... More

Every time my toddler throws a tantrum at the store I feel like I’ve failed him as a parent.

I try to calm him down but nothing seems to work. I don’t know how to help him or understand what is wrong. He is three years old so trips to the store can be very rough. Any advice will help

  • Alexis
    Aug 26, 2019

    Check out discipline without damage book

  • Vanessa
    Aug 28, 2019

    Thank you so much for the advice, my son doesn’t speak much yet and is going to speech/behavior therapy because he will hit his head on things. Communication has been hard and when he throws tantrums I’m just trying to protect his head for the most part. These are all great ideas I’ll try anything. He does like to help so I will try to get him involved with the groceries.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Aug 09, 2019

Guilty of not enjoying days spent alone with son

Son is almost 4. I recently got my hours cut a lot at work so I’ve been staying home fridays to cut child care costs. My kid is so needy and needs me to entertain him non stop. He is so cute and I love and cherish this special age of littleness but it’s been a long day of playing with him and running errands. He doesn’t nap and we don’t have a lot of friends here. I initiate play dates with ... More

  • Laura
    Aug 11, 2019

    On days I'm alone with our daughter I have to plan activities or I'd go crazy. The best are things I need/want to do. Like visiting friends, going for a walk or bike ride, going food shopping, going to an art museum. Plus, I find she's less cranky and more observant/occupies with just looking around when we're out and about. We also watch TV on those days (basically never do oth... More

  • Nicollette
    Aug 12, 2019

    I used to feel similarly until my 4 year old told me she how much she loves staying home and doing nothing with me. She didn’t want to go to the zoo or science center or all the other planned activities I tried to plan to occupy her time. She just wanted to stay home and enjoy being in the house together. My heart melted

My 5 y/o keeps asking me for play dates with his classmates.

I’ve never approached parents before on this topic. I run anxiety thinking I’m bothering parents if I ever suggest this. The problem with this thought process is that I’ve become socially awkward. To overcome this, what are some opening lines you have used to suggest a play date? To a parent you haven’t really talked to but your kids play with their kids at school and are bffs. Thanks! Hugs!

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09, 2019

    I start by saying something like, “my daughter was asking if they could get together with your child sometime. If you’re willing, do you want to trade numbers? That way, if we’re at the park or something sometime we can try to coordinate a play date.” But I have to say, I rarely actually chat it up with the parents. I’m pretty hands on, and not here to make friends with other parents, but i... More

  • Jennifer
    Aug 09, 2019

    You know, it really comes down to one of the moms making the initiative. My daughter has been to her daycare since 2yr old. But during May before she turned 5yr old, the school decided to move their location. Usually when I pick up my kids, I see the other parents and just briefly say hi to them but I know all my daughter's friends, as I'm the type of mom that likes to get to know th... More

Always tired

In the last two weeks I’ve had 3 people tell me I look tired. I generally am a little tired, chasing after a 2.5 year old boy all day. But what is with people? It’s just not a nice thing to say. Do you have any tricks, products or tips for making yourself look less tired? My husband says I look beautiful. Love him.

  • annag
    Aug 09, 2019

    Miss Manners (Judith Martin) said, in some column, that it's more useful to ask what we can do to help someone than to call them tired. Maybe start a new trend?

  • Yanis
    Aug 10, 2019

    Seriously. I tell them I AM TIRED. How else am I supposed to look?

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jul 17, 2019

BabyCenter forum users

Does anyone find BC forums to have cyber bullies? I mean yes, some people ask dumb questions, but sometimes it’s in times of desperation or emotion, and sometimes it’s a troll asking to be attacked... but there are some users in my birth group that are complete assholes and are relentless and pick you apart and then that person is like, wait do I need to literally type everything out in order f... More

  • Ivy
    Aug 02, 2019

    I think, a lot of opinionated or aggressive personalities tend to comment. They’re usually the ones who have something to say when more level-headed people don’t. They don’t think “if you have nothing nice (or constructive) to say, don’t say it at all”. A lot of these negative/ unnecessary comments defend themselves saying “it’s my opinion, I can say whatever I want”, but really... does that me... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jul 12, 2019

Would you remove another child from a play space if your own child was “in danger?”

We were at a splash pad and my son (2.5 yrs) was trying to climb up a turtle. I was watching from afar and didn’t notice that a small kid (maybe 10 months?) had crawled up right next to my son. I don’t think my son was hurting the other kid or anything but just trying to climb up the turtle. Then a mom came running in yelling “be careful with the baby!” Confused, that’s when I repositioned myse... More

  • Amanda
    Oct 09, 2019

    So my personal opinion if I were toddler mom; once another parent speaks to my child, if I agree with the other parents position or not, I am going in. Not to be confrontational or apologetic but to let the other parent see I am present and capable of supervising my child and from close proximity would then be able to address whatever concern was at play. As baby mom, if you are close enough t... More

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