Parenting Culture

Share and discuss all things parenting whether it's good, bad, funny, or serious.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Friday

Name change

Has anyone changed their child’s name? How long was the process? Do you have to do it in the state they were born, or just where you live currently?

Play date etiquette

I have a 2 y/o and almost 5 y/o. Both are boys... we have not had a lot of playdates over the years and I feel like I have no clue what proper etiquette is.... we were invited over by a family with young kids. My kids were having fun and being active (chasing other kids in house) and loud (happily yelling in their play)... This kind of play doesn’t bother us unless it starts to veer out of... More

  • Ali
    Friday

    Thanks everyone! Maybe it is best to meet or have people to our house since I would feel more relaxed... I like the thought of asking house rules beforehand. That has not crossed my mind as something to ask but great advice!

  • Cathy
    Yesterday

    I have a two year old son that is quiet, reserved and sensitive. We go to playgroups frequently and also have them at our house. It’s important for me that my son be exposed to different personalities and how to handle different circumstances in a social setting. Can it be overwhelming? Yes. Most parents are considerate of our home and give reminders to their kids before their children get too ... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Wednesday

Baby advice! (long post)

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my experiences with having a baby. My daughter was born in December and is now 4 months old. She’s a very easygoing baby (which I am forever grateful for!). However, in the short time I’ve been a mom, I have gotten a LOT of advice. Both good and bad. I’ve been told to sleep when the baby sleeps, which is a great idea up to a point. You can’t be expected to... More

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    @Annie I’ve started doing that too, my daughter is still in her cooing phase and it always makes her smile and kick her legs like crazy when I have a conversation with her

  • cocomac
    Thursday

    Don’t feel guilty to say no to people. It’s true when they say “they grow so fast”. My husband and I spent first 2 months saying yes and putting our family members happiness (she is first grand baby on both sides) before ours and we both now realize that we need to put our own happiness (and our own troubles) before our family members’. I actually am in therapy because I felt robbed of my mate... More

Yuyuita posted in Behavior Apr 10

Playground etiquette

Today I took my daughter to the playground she is 20 mo, she was gonna use the slide when a boy probably around 2 yo climbed back on the slide it was a dual slide so I thought it was enough space for both to play, when the boy got closer to her then stepped on my daughter’s hand and didn’t move so I proceed to move his foot from my daughters hand and said don’t do that, then finally I heard the... More

  • Kate
    Apr 12

    Just another idea here: You can use a situation like this to teach your kiddo how to assert herself. Use a calm, confident voice and say something like, “[Name], tell him to stop. If you don’t like that, tell him. Say ‘stop’.” And if you say it a little loudly (but still calmly), the other kid’s parent may overhear and try to help. We’re not always going to be around them, so we might as we... More

  • Yuyuita
    Apr 13

    My daughter didn’t cry but I wasn’t gonna wait until I had deal with a crying baby, right now she is going through a phase where she freezes when someone comes to close to her, there have been times where other toddlers come close to her to touch her or even push her but I can see clearly that is out of curiosity in those cases she just stands and do nothing so I just tell her come let’s go try... More

At what point am I no longer considered a first-time or new mom?

Is it once my baby is more than six months old? Is it after I have a second child? When did you stop referring to yourself as a first-time or new parent?

  • Amy
    Apr 11

    Funny, I don’t know! I think I stopped around my son’s first year. Not for any reason, it just stopped coming up.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 12

    Hmmm..no idea too..I agree..when you have more kids guess..I still feel like a first time mom and my kid is 3! Haha they're constantly changing and always keep your on your toes..everything that happens is the first time

Returning to Work

I have a job interview this coming week that could turn into a strong prospect if not an all out offer. My little one is 17 months old and I have stayed at home with her the entire time. I love my career and worked very hard for it to give it up for motherhood. I’m having a lot of conflicting feelings ... am I a bad mother? Is going back to work going to stress the bond I’ve already had difficu... More

  • Jen
    Mar 28

    Oh heavens no! Not at all a bad mother...is that even what people say anymore?? Moms work all the time!! You’re not gonna be the first.... There is no research out there that shows working parents somehow hurt kids. But there IS proven research that says kids with working mothers actually have benefits when they become adults. (Harvard Business Review, perhaps? Can’t recall...) Girls with work... More

  • annag
    Mar 28

    you need to be a good role model, by taking care of yourself first so that you can help others from a stronger stance. Yes, going back to work will be stressful, but then, so would staying at home full-time.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Mar 20

Unwanted baby name input...

My husband and I didn’t tell anyone what we were going to name our baby until after he arrived (partially due to the fact that we hadn’t decided yet). Now that I’m pregnant with baby #2, I’ve been more open when his family asks what our name options are... they’re pretty verbal about what they like and don’t like... and I keep finding myself getting offended. How should I respond to their sco... More

  • Stacey
    Mar 22

    My mom and sister hated our son's name when we chose it (Ronan) but they came around. We told them we liked it and he is our baby. To be honest I don't think they heard it correctly the first time.

  • Mark
    Mar 28

    We made up fake names that were so obnoxious, that it disarmed them. I also told many people they did not have review privileges.

Elle posted in Behavior Mar 19

Inuit Parenting Style

"With little kids, you often think they're pushing your buttons, but that's not what's going on. They're upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is." https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/XXX-XXXX53/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

  • Lulu
    Mar 19

    Amazing read! Thanks!

  • Elle
    Mar 19

    I guess our parenting style is French-Inuit then...

Parent guilt over growing twins

My Littles are 6 months on Thursday and they’re rolling over, crawling, teething, pulling up on the rails of their cribs and my Twin A is sitting up unassisted. How? They were just 4 & 5 pound little balls of human just the other day?! I feel so sad that I’m not feeling as present as I would like to be in this whole Twin Life thing. I’m never NOT busy though, and I’ve blinked and suddenly... More

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    Welcome to parenthood! A lifetime of parental guilt 🙂. It’s completely normal - just remember to focus on quality time over quantity.

  • Brigitte
    Mar 20

    You know, this is why I feel frustrated when people always look at me sagely and say, “enjoy it! Take it all in! It goes so fast!” I know they have the best intentions when they say that; but I’ve really come to feel that instead of encouraging me it just makes me feel guilty. Parenthood, ESPECIALLY in the first year, is so hard and emotionally challenging. One minute you’re wildly in love and ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Mar 17

Need parents opinions

I'm a pretty damn good mom of twins but it gets hard a lot of the time. My S/O works a lot to provide for the family. It feels like he isn't doing what he should with the babies though. They're a little over a year old and I was hoping he would interact with them more. He basically gets home and says hello, gives hugs, kisses and every now and then will play with them for 5 or 10 mi... More

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Of course other men spend time parenting their children while supporting the family. Parenting isn’t just providing financial support or putting roof on their heads or just buying food. I guess you fell in the roles of past times where u take care of kids n he works. If you want change you are gonna have to work at it. Your are not being harsh and unappreciative; the father needs to do his half... More

Working Mothers

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kateashford/2015/06/30/working-mother/

  • Jade
    Feb 05

    Wow, Anne! What an amazing Mom! 🙌🏼

  • Anonymous
    Feb 08

    I’m very proud of my single working mom, and always glad she had more to occupy her than my settling down and having babies- most of my friends’ moms seemed to pressure their kids, and I felt it was because they were bored housewives- and I decided to put my career on the side, and take up odd freelance work, because I still felt the deep yearning to simply be with my mother. She was always so ... More

Just a thought

I’m sitting here on our bed while my husband is putting out hysterically crying baby. He’s so patient, she keeps getting up and crying and he just softly tells her it’s okay that he’s there and wow. Extremely thankful for him ❤️💛

  • Elle
    Jan 24

    My husband is the same way. Its good to be thankful for each other, esp when one partner can step in to help other the other!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 22

Raising a baby without family near

Husband and I live in Kansas, my family lives in Canada and his in California. It’s way more affordable to buy a house here so we want to raise a family here so we can provide more. Anyway, calling out all moms and dads raising babies without family near. Just want to hear your experiences with working, nannies, and not having that support nearby. Cause a strain on your relationship? Should... More

  • Mandy
    Jan 25

    It is not a strain on our marriage, however we can’t afford a nanny (and I don’t trust people with my child). It is hard, I miss alone time with my husband. But we have a solid family unit, and our son is awesome when we go out places. I guess in my experience if your relationship is strong you can make anything work. Sure it’s hard and I would love to be able to leave our son with a grandparen... More

  • Al
    Thursday

    Wow this sounds just like our situation! We are from Ca and moved to north central Kansas to raise our now 2 yo girl because of the cost of living as well as a lot of other things I didn’t want her exposed to in Ca- issues come with high populations- not just Ca. I have also been a SAHM since she was born and I cannot imagine it any other way but it was absolutely not possible in Ca with their ... More

What is your go to place for parenting advice or answers to questions?

Do you ask your mom, MIL, facebook mommy groups, Winnie, google, a specified book, etc? Picture for attention!

  • Michaela
    Jan 21

    My mother in law... and my mom depending on what it is (she can get very naggy, so I filter for her)

  • Morgan
    Jan 24

    Winnie

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jan 16

kindergarten violence?

I need some advice from fellow parents. My daughter is in kindergarten. She got punched by another classmate in the face and end up with a very bloody nose. According to the teachers, there was quite a lot of blood spilled on her clothes and floor. We met with the principal but there doesn’t seem to be any clear preventive measures put in place to avoid future incidents. I was told there were... More

  • Yo
    Jan 21

    I would try talking to the principal to have him/her talk to the other child parents. If no progress is made and you still dont feel comfortable, I would just look for another school. When my son was smaller he used to come home with very big words for gis little mouth that we did not use at home. When I found out the source was a girl in the class I addressed the matter with the principal and... More

  • Morgan
    Jan 24

    I would put your daughter in a self defense class and i would file a complaint against the school and the teacher and the principal and i would press charges

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jan 08

Have you been in this situation? What happened? What did you do?

My son just turned 2, so he doesn’t speak much yet. The other day we were at the aquarium and we had to leave for lunch and nap. Naturally, my son wasn’t ready to leave so I wrestled a screaming toddler into the stroller. Next thing I knew, he was screaming “help me” repeatedly to the family next to us. I calmly got him in the stroller and left. First, I’m super proud that he’s now saying two w... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 11

    So that’s one of the scenarios I ran through my head... police ask me to prove that my son is my son, so I show them pictures on my phone. Then they say that it’s not enough because it could just mean that I kidnapped the child several months prior and started taking pictures then. 😱 I have my photos cleared out and saved elsewhere every couple of months. My son is a mixed kid and more people... More

  • Catherine
    Jan 24

    My middle son once yelled out ”Dont hurt me no more Daddy!!!” to my husband. First off my husband and I were in shock trying to think of one time he had punished him considering my husband was never around much because of his job and secondly we were trying to rationalize why would he say that? Now that my son is 17 we have asked him why he said that then.. He said that he had a way of imagini... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jan 04

Dad is his favorite... and it’s clear why

I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old. For the past month he’s been acting like this: When dad is home, he acts like he’s deathly afraid of me. Prefers dad to change his diaper, hold him or cuddle with him. Dad has to persuade him to let me do stuff for him (change his diaper, bath, etc). When dad isn’t home, it’s normal. Since I’m home with him all day and even when dad is home - I do all the childcar... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 05

    My 19 month old does this. I am also a SAHM, my husband kind of makes guest appearances in her life; because in the mornings we go to mommy and me classes, and many times my husband gets home past her bed time. When she sees him it’s like a celebrity walked in the room and she totally forgets about me, won’t even let me carry her; (but I will admit this is kind of my fault, when she was younger... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 06

    I really think it’s a phase. Honestly kids need and respond to routine and limits, and it probably has nothing to do with your differences in parenting. Hang in there. Try to just keep being the parent you want to be for him and let dad figure out his own path. It’s going to be slower because he spends less time with him. You are awesome, Mom!

“The talk”

So, my oldest is turning 15 this year, she is having a quinceañera party which, in Latino culture, signifies her transitioning into a woman. Now, she is not a woman and will never be a woman in my eyes, still my baby girl. But I do understand she is getting older and the fact that she doesn’t live with me, due to a divorce from my first wife, makes things a bit more challenging. I want to have ... More

  • Michelle
    Jan 27

    You may want to have the talk with her, but make sure she wants to have the talk with you first. The best thing you can do for your relationship and her self-esteem is respect her boundaries. I’m sure she’s watching tv shows with mature themes. Find out what she’s watching, then watch them on your own, and start a conversation with her about the characters. You can pass along your wisdom to ... More

  • Elle
    Jan 28

    Want to upvote Michelle's comment about 100 times. Best comment thus far.

Parent playground etiquette

While at the mall today I let my little girl who is 20 months play on the playground there. There were other kids some of which were a little older (7-9 yrs old). Eventually the older ones started playing tag, causing them to run, jump off the equipment, & so forth to avoid being "it". Several times they caused my daughter to stumble. One child (who looked to be the oldest of the ... More

  • Elle
    Jan 01

    Ooh I personally struggle with this dynamic. I always hope Ill be strong and courageous, diplomatic and savvy... (bc who else do our little ones have? They depend on us! And also, they watch and emulate how we deal with different social dynamics).... I guess two things can help: 1) having some preprepared responses and 2) being OK with potentially accidentally seeming ruder than your ideal rep... More

  • Hunter
    Jan 26

    I ALWAYS speak up. Safety matters more to me than potential conflict or societal norms. I use phrases like “Let’s all be careful with little ones around.” “Hi friends! Do you mind watching out for her (pointing to toddler) she’s not quite ready to balance like the big kids!” Usually I get across with a cheerful tone & simple phrases... other times, I say “excuse me, you just pushed my daugh... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Dec 30, 2018

Can’t discipline my toddler

I grew up with a very strict single parent, who was also very loving, playful and kind, so I knew my boundaries from a young age, knew I was loved and very much imagined I’d pass this down to my own kids. My partner’s experience of both his parents was very different: inconsistent, angry and irrationally strict without clear boundaries, affection or (IMO) love. Until today, I really like my i... More

  • Kieli
    Dec 30, 2018

    I know you have said that you and your husband struggle at communicating, but raising a child is difficult. Especially when you have different views/tactics. But it’s so important to figure something out to get into his head that you are both trying to raise respectful, mindful kids. And if one person does it one way and the other does it another way, it will just confuse the kids. My suggestio... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 01

    I’d throw the biscuit at my husband if he tried that crap. I will deal with a lot my husband undermining me in front of our kids is a big no! That just teaches them that they don’t need to listen to you and will get their way. To fix one issues your husband and you need to fix your own communication. My husband and I don’t always agree and we get into arguments about our kids. Parenting is hard... More

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