Parenting Culture

Share and discuss all things parenting whether it's good, bad, funny, or serious.

Juggling work and the real work (motherhood)

Anyone else having a hard time juggling work and motherhood?!?! I feel guilty when I’m not with my son and before he was born I know I’d give my all at work, and although I still do my job as I should, I feel guilty I don’t put in the same effort and attention I used to. I called out of work today because I had an ER scare with my son last night and even though nothing comes before him and I k... More

  • Lyndsie
    27m ago

    I work 3 (12-hr) workdays a week, which often gives me a huge gap of days off. It gives me a unique perspective in that I am able to see that I am a more attentive and less touched out mother when I am at home after working a few days. After a long stretch of days off I become less patient and less focused. It has helped me realize that getting a break through working actually makes me a better... More

  • Elle
    9m ago

    PPA is a real thing. If you find yourself more tired and anxious than before, maybe defer this decision and talk to a few doctors for their opinions first.

How do you transition from a 2parent household to a 1parent household with a 1yr old?

  • Anonymous
    Yesterday

    Same question, but I have a 3 year old and 9 month old...

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Tuesday

Screen time disagreement

Anybody disagree with their partner/spouse about screen time usage with toddlers? What do you about it? My husband doesn’t care about the research out there about screen time being bad. He argues that is all around us and why fight it. While I agree that there’s no use in fighting it when we are out and about, I still believe that we can control how much our toddler is exposed to it in our hom... More

  • Anonymous
    Tuesday

    I am in the same boat as you. Although my son is just one so haven't started screen time yet. But my husband is same way. He doesn't care as much. Following.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Monday

Helping a SAHD

When my daughter was born my mother helped me take care of her. I had about 5 months of maternity leave so I was at home for a good while, but once I returned to work, she took care of her alone while myself and my husband were working. Now our routine has changed and my mother returned to work. My husband is now a SAHD and while he does an amazing job I need to help him with getting her on a r... More

  • LaVona
    Monday

    We recently transitioned to the same set up. Before we started i created a scedule for them to get ideas on how to plan his days. He morphed this into his own schedule. I told him how important it is for a child to have a structured day with set times for naps, food and play. The different typed of play for developement and growth. The variety of foods that we needed to hit each week. He has ... More

Going back to work in 2 weeks and having serious meltdown....

I am leaving my 3 month old baby girl to a great nanny but I am so upset, feeling that I will be missing so much. I hope she will be fine and don’t feel I am abandoning her.... How did you handle going back to work and are you able to spend some real quality time with your baby ?

  • Fanny
    Monday

    Thank you so much ! I will be pumping too and facetime seems like a great idea if the nanny is on board ! I will for sure cry quite a lot on that first week, would love to take her with me and hide her somewhere in the office ! The most important for me is that she knows that I love her and will always be back, I wish I was not feeling guilty but it’s not that easy...

  • Lisa
    Tuesday

    Hang in there, Mama!! It was so hard at first, but by 5 or 6 months, my daughter was also starting to crave and thrive off more social interaction, so I felt better knowing she had a full day of play and adventures ahead of her. You are already teaching her to be strong and independent (and good practice for us to try to let go of the guilt - it always creeps up, but you are doing what’s best... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Monday

What do you think of my name pick for a girl?

I really love the name Odessa. I love how many nicknames there is. It sounds right with my daughters name. But my sister(whose opinion matters to me) doesn’t like it. She had some valid points. She lives in Florida along with other people in our family and there’s an Odessa Florida but I’ve never been there so I don’t associate it with that. But most of my family will. It’s also not a common na... More

  • Victoria
    Monday

    I think that Odessa is absolutely adorable. It is unique but not difficult to say or spell. Maybe if you tell your sister/family about the cute nick names you can make from it they'll be more on board... Either way go to what your heart likes!!

Susan posted in Behavior Saturday

Bullying at school at 2.5 years?

Had anyone else dealt with this at such a young age? My daughter is not yet 2.5 and I think she is being bullied by a 3 year old who used to be in the same class with her. They were friends before and I think my daughter has a hard time understanding the age difference and that since this girl moved up she has new friends, but this girl says some mean things to my daughter and I’m pretty sure s... More

  • Vicki
    Saturday

    Definitely talk to the teachers first and see what is going on at school. My daughter had a similar issue around the same age... almost everyday she would come home and say this boy pushed or hit her or was just generally mean. She never had any marks though and other kids just said he was mean... my daughter seemed targeted with the hitting. The teachers were aware and kept them apart for the ... More

  • Birdie
    Saturday

    Talk with the mom. Don’t label it as bullying b/c she will immediately jump into defensive mode. Voice you concern that you feel their relationship has changed but you’re not sure how or what exactly is going on. You’ve noticed your daughter acting a certain & if she has noticed any changes in her daughter. Ask her to just keep an eye out on things so you both can get a better idea of what... More

Doesn’t Like Mommy

My daughter looooves her daddy and says regularly to me, “I don’t like you”, and also says, “I don’t like Mommy” to her Dad. When we ask why, she says, “Mommy is not nice.” As I am actually very nice to my daughter but yes, I do set boundaries with her, this is a little confusing. We both practice positive discipline, no hitting, etc. I have definitely been a bit more stressed lately because I ... More

  • Anna
    Sunday

    I’d say it’s because of the baby, but this was happening before the baby came.

  • April
    Sunday

    I’m a SAHM of 1 with one due in November. The second daddy comes home from work, I’m instantly invisible or the bad guy.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Oct 11

Electronics

My baby is 26 months old. He is always wanting to play apps on my phone or watch his favorite shows on the laptop or TV. I was wondering how much time other moms and dads allow their babies on iPads or tablets or just anything? How much is too much? I have some (stahm) friends who have the tv on all day long and sometimes it’s just background noise or the baby is watching they let the babies de... More

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    Thanks everyone for your feedback. I feel like a bad mommy sometimes because he loves watching tv and playing on the phone and anytime I turn it off or take it away he has a huge tantrum...because of this, we decided we want to limit how much TV time he gets. His favorite right now is Mickey Mouse clubhouse and Disney movies..which I think is pretty educational but still think it’s necessary to... More

  • Stay-At-Home Dan
    Friday

    Don’t feel like a bad mom. A bad mom wouldn’t be concerned or even care about limiting tv watching. As parents we try our hardest to do what’s right for our children or what we think is beneficial. As children grow, we have to adjust our parenting strategies to accommodate and challenge them. Parenting is tough and we have to take it a day at a time. It’s easier said then done. Definitely hav... More

Newest parent trend....

“No touching” signs on strollers and car seats. What do you think?

  • Jennifer
    Oct 09

    LOL, love it! This is hilarious!

  • Katia
    Oct 09

    Never once in my life have I touched a strangers baby. It’s so crazy seeing people try that. Idk isn’t it just known etiquette? Anyways I own 2. One for the car seat and one for the stroller. Lol mine aren’t as pretty so I may upgrade for babe number 2 😜

Anonymous posted in Behavior Oct 06

Throwing rocks on other kid

I took my daughter to a playground where there were a few other kids and their parents. One of the young boys came up to her, firstly stand there with his hands hidden back. Then he picked up some small rocks and started to throw them on her. She was still one year old, she only looked back and kept playing. That boy started to throw on her head to make her look back again. I thought maybe he j... More

  • Sara
    Oct 10

    I feel that if you aren’t paying attention to your kid and your kid is not playing nice, it’s then my job to be the adult first and tell the kid appropriately that this behavior is unacceptable for any kid at the park that we treat each other with kindness and it’s a place to come to play safely. I find wayyyy too often parents take their kids to the park and just sit on their phones and don’t ... More

  • Birdie
    Oct 10

    This literally happened yesterday. I bring my 2 yr old to a park. A few kids about 6-7 playing. My daughter & her father go to the swings. 3 kids are playing on 1 swing. 1 girl has sand that she’s throwing on the other kids. Everyone was laughing then one kid started to say stop repeatedly. When they tried to physically stop her (by putting her hand down, nothing violent) she threw sand in ... More

Family friend babysitter or in home daycare

So, for the past two years I've had my daughter at a family friend's home with her granddaughter who is the same age. Sometimes it goes great, most of the time I feel like it could be better. She is fed well and has a place to nap, but she gets in trouble a lot and often gets reprimanded for saying "no" to putting her hair up or just saying the word in general. She is 2 and is... More

  • Julie
    Oct 06

    Also, my center doesn’t reprimand at this age!! They say that it’s totally ineffective when children are this young to reprimand. They simply redirect and move on.

  • Kaitlyn
    Oct 08

    Omg...really this sounds terrible. Please please find something better. A daycare, another in-home daycare...something. Look for reviews and parent recommendations! Hugs for your babe 💕

Anonymous posted in Family Life Oct 03

Debating whether my husband should get a vasectomy or we go for #3

I have two boys, both under 2. I’m completely over being pregnant and I’m happy to have my body to myself again. My husband and I were ready for him to get a vasectomy but now I can’t help but think I want a little girl. I like the idea of a vasectomy since it’s permanent birth control and we don’t have to worry. But I’m worried in the future I’ll want another. Even if I do get pregnant again t... More

  • Laura
    Oct 06

    So...my dad had 8 girls in a row before he had a boy. Don't have a 3rd kid unless you'd be happy having another boy. As for the vasectomy, they're typically reversible but I don't recommend it until you're certain you're done.

  • Christina
    Oct 07

    It's hard to reverse a vasectomy according to the doctor that did my husband's. So they will ask you multiple times before you have it done if you are 100% sure. Remember foster care and adoption would be another way to add a kid to your home and the only way to guarantee you would have a girl added unless you see a fertility specialist.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Oct 02

Wants to be with mommy

My son wakes up at all hours of the night screaming out for me. I get up and see what’s happening cause it’s gut wrenching and he says I love you mommy or asks me questions while crying hysterically.... when we moved into our house I had his door knob switched so the lock was on the outside to prevent him locking himself in the room. I have thought of and have locked the door after four times w... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 05

    Frank that is exactly what I am worried about. Although it only lasts once before I’m coming to the rescue cause I would hate to be in his shoes. I’m just not wanting him to be use to sleeping in my room or bed.... I do always bring him in my bed eventually cause I want to sleep and to allow him to sleep as well.... any advice for how else to handle? I would appreciate it

  • Frank
    Oct 06

    I can understand that you don't want him to get used to sleeping in your bed but if you eventually give in that's what you're doing. I don't know how often he wakes up at night but maybe you can try laying down with him until he falls asleep. Set an alarm and go climb in his bed before he wakes up. If he doesn't wake up during the night he'll think you slept together ... More

Interesting read on single moms joining forces

“It was like a marriage, only better. We had a kind of invisible rota. We cooked proper dinners for each other every night. We had roles.” Incredible story of redefining family after the end of a marriage. Has anyone ever tried something like this?

  • Jade
    Oct 02

    Love this! Such a beautiful example of our need for community and connection. What supportive, resilient women!

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Oct 01

For all the mother's with toddlers

My son is 2 years old and I know thats the age where people call that the terrible 2's. I call it terrible toddlers because to me all toddlers no matter what age 1, 2, etc. are bad lol. Anyway he just doesn't listen to me. I talk, yell, woop his butt, time out, make him go to his room. I just dont know what else to do. He listens to my husband. I have trouble with him, all the time and... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 01

    Which is probably why he listens to your husband. Men have a deep, less caring and gentle voice.

  • Ryan
    Oct 01

    Might be worth trying a different approach. The book "How to talk so kids will listen" changed the way I parent, and I've found a lot of success with it. Not for everyone, but might be worth a read: https://www.amazon.com/dp/XXX-XXXX/

Other people that want to see your baby

How do you deal with family/friends who want to see your baby and hold them but it’s a large group with many people with the same intentions? There’s always one baby snatcher/hogger and others that hold back but you know they want/deserve a chance to hold baby. How do you deal? Do you keep baby with you and actively pass them around when you feel it’s time for someone else? Do you avoid grou... More

  • Abby
    Sep 30

    We always have someone in our family like that and we have to be honest and tell her to stop and sometimes she still doesn’t listen. It is very frustrating!! Especially at his birthday when everyone wanted to see him and she was hogging him the hold time and he wanted to play and she kept trying to hold him. It was frustrating! Wish I had more advice

  • Anonymous
    Sep 30

    I had premature twins so for the sake of not over stimulating and the germs, I just said one to two people at once max. I think more than 2 people in one day is like enough. Imagine being held by several strangers in 1 day. Would that freak ya out? Baby is still learning Mommy & Daddy are my safe place, and building attachments. Babies have no voice, so it’s up to you to say enough is eno... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Sep 27

What’s something no one told you about and wish you had known?

I'm a first time mom in my mid 20s. My husband and I want to start trying for a baby next year, when we’re 25. I’m a nanny and an aspiring Doula, my husband is a loan officer. I guess I’d just like to know more about what to expect as a first timer! Some questions to start: 1. How long did you have maternity leave? Was it enough? 2. Who wakes with baby at night while you both work? ... More

  • Vicki
    Sep 27

    I didn't get maternity leave so to speak. Just a promise I could have my job back when I wanted to come back. I switched to day shift & put them in daycare while I worked (single mom). I have severe depression & PTSD. Some meds are safe, others are not. Luckily they have alternatives for many types. I had a doulas with my second & I would HIGHLY reccomend one. Seriously it was n... More

  • Victoria
    Sep 27

    My job wouldn’t give me any maternity leave but I had to quit early anyways because of pre term labor issues then I return to school 8 weeks post partum. We both wake equally with the baby, he does diapers and I feed. I quit my antidepressant while pregnant and the first 10 months pp but recently had to get back on them, Zoloft is the safest while breastfeeding. I didn’t hire a doula but I wish... More

Too much screen time?

What is considered too much TV for a baby? My LO is 12mo next week. I don't have the TV on often as she kind of gets zoned out when she watches Super Simple Songs. It worried me a bit so stopped turning on the TV so much. I only turn on the TV when she is super grumpy and there is nothing else that she wants to do. What do ya'll think?

  • Jamie
    Sep 28

    American Pediatric Association recommends no screen time for children under 2. We read books and listen to music or play

  • Kylee
    Sep 30

    I have little baby bum or some kind of educational cartoon or something on almost all day. She just runs around and plays going back and forth from her room to the living room or following me around. She very rarely sits and watches (unless it’s Moana) it’s really just there for background noise.

Should I teach my daughter to fight back?

My lovely, smart, polite, friendly and well-liked girl is eight and in NYC 4th grade public school. I always taught her to obey the rules and the law but in this age of #metoo and with certain politicians violating the rights of women, how do I tell her to punch when she needs to? I've explained to her that certain things are never right, that boys (and men) should never touch her when she ... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 28

    I have boys, so I can't really answer this from the daughter perspective. But I have taught them two things from day one: 1. They are always allowed to choose who touches their body. They do not have to hug Grandma, or their friend, or even me, if they don't want to. 2. They are to be VERY careful about putting hands on other people. If they want a hug, they must ask. If they grab my c... More

  • Tiff
    Oct 02

    You should explain to her that nobody (not just men or boys., but other females too) has the right to touch her in any manner that she does not want to be touched. Teach her boundaries and respect of other people's bodies and tell her it's ok to fight against anyone who tries to persist in violating her boundaries afyer she has clearly said no. There should be no need to bring up Stor... More

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