My son attended Happy Times from fall of 2023 to spring of 2024. As an early childhood professional, I did great research into the quality of care and reputation of the schools in our neighborhood. Happy Times seemed like a place that followed modern educational philosophies, valued parental involvement and professional development for their teachers. About halfway through the year, I was alerted to some “alarming” behavior my son displayed–pretending to sword fight. I talked to my son immediately about why this behavior was not okay and would not be tolerated. However, my husband and I continued to be pressed to answer for his “alarming” sword-swinging behavior. The director described his behavior as “violent,” “slitting throats” and “criminal.” To hear my son’s behavior defined as a “criminal” who was “slitting throats” sounded like a particular kind of dog-whistle that did not sit nicely. To be spoken to this way by my peers in the early education community was shocking. To be spoken to this way as a family in the community was heartbreaking. We have repeatedly asked in the past for our son’s occupational therapist to be brought into the school and have repeatedly been either ignored or dismissed. We asked again if our OT could come into the classroom and observe for any particular sensory inputs that would have led to a meltdown. They cited a concern for children’s and teacher’s privacy, and also needing to accommodate two children with severe stranger anxiety. Because of these things, they could not allow outside individuals to enter the school. However, when asked why it is that they routinely allow librarians, firefighters, and other parents into the building, we were told that they have many children to take care of and couldn’t just focus on our son. We asked our OT to join the conversation via email and were told, in writing, that they were denying access to in-school therapeutic services for our kid. It became increasingly clear during this conversation and the subsequent back and forth emails, that this was not about the caliber of my son’s behavior. To my husband and I, it felt like a pointed condemnation of our parenting, a grab for power and respect, and a flagrant disregard for best practices in early education. I was appalled at this whole situation, and questioned my own judgment in choosing this school. I was sad for what my son had to learn so early in his life–that people will look at him differently and his behavior will be judged against years of institutional bias. We are a brown-skinned family in Naperville. It’s not a secret that we look different than most of our neighbors. I’m not writing this review to tar the pristine reputation of a long-standing school. I’m writing to inform parents who are making the fraught decision of judging who will be included in the care and raising of their children, and the internal moralities they hold. Families who are teaching their children to be kind and empathetic, families of color, families of neurodiverse children, diasporic parents looking for a sense of community and belonging, I hope you consider my review and what it might mean for your children.